Pye's In Haiti

Heart Hurts

2012-01-31T11:39:00.000-08:00

Honestly, I'm struggling. I have lived in this country for over 8 years now. 8 years of ups and downs, twist and turns, storms, earthquakes, birth, death. Danny has often said 'Haiti is hard, but it is not hopeless.' But sometimes, like right now, it's a struggle. My heart hurts, my spirit is worn, and there have been several times when I just grab a kid, hug them, and just cry. It's been a building of stuff, nothing huge or big. But I feel distant from God and I don't have the energy to really do anything to change that.

This past week has been hard. Running around with Dav, trying so hard to get this important surgery done for him, and nothing coming out of it was a blow. Then Friday our friends Anise and Frantzo's nephew died. I have met a lot of their family over the years however I remember this little boy. His mother had brought him to a clinic we were having. He had hydrocephalus, water slowly building up in his head. I remember holding him, praying for him, and Teresa talking with the Mom about how she would listen for doctors that were coming to Haiti to help. Several months later such a team of doctors for hydrocephalus was coming down in a town north of PAP. I gave her directions, who to ask for, and money for a tap tap. The baby was rejected, saying they couldn't help for some reason or another. That little boy lived for almost 2 more years. I went to his funeral at his house Saturday morning. It was heartbreaking. Unlike me, an American, Haitians wailed, cried, screamed out to God asking why their child had died. I kept thinking, I had tried so hard to help, found doctors, did everything right and they turned the baby away. Now I was at his funeral. I walked over to her Mom as she was crying and screaming, 'My baby is now in a box. Oh God, I lost my baby. I have no courage. I have no baby. My baby is in a box.' She just kept saying that over and over. I wanted to just hold her and pray. But my American shyness crept in and I just closed my eyes and prayed for her several steps behind her.

After that I walked to the burial site down the road. I mentally prepared myself knowing I was going to where Jabez was also placed. When I turned the corner I felt like someone physically punched me in the stomach. There in front of me was my son's coffin. They had opened his spot to place the little boy's coffin next to Jabez's. It was still white, though dusty, and still covered in silk flowers that our kids and family had placed on before they closed it back up. I struggled to not puke right then in there, though I could hear ringing in my ears. I quickly turned away and walked back to house.

The mom was still there, broken and crying. This time my American shyness melted away. I kneeled in front of her, grabbed her face and made her look at me. I told her that her baby's body was here, but his spirit was with Jesus. That he wasn't alone. He wasn't in pain. That they put your baby right next to my baby. God would give you strength. She cried harder, smiled and said 'Yes, Mama Leann. He's with Jesus.' I walked away numb.

I decided to go back to the burial site. I wanted one of the silk flowers from Jabez's grave. I asked Pastor if it was OK and he insisted on getting me gloves. They handed me a stem of silk flowers that I held carefully. Pastor then apologized to me for opening Jabez's spot without talking to me first. I just numbly nodded my head. After that I said good bye and went home.

When I got home I pretty much walked into my room and the walls came down and I just started crying. I fell asleep emotionally drained and was woken up from my telephone ringing. 'Hello?' 'Mama Leann, Aline is at Dr. Martinez's hospital. Natalie died.' He literally had to repeat it 3 times for me to understand. Natalie, beautiful, little Natalie passed away suddenly. I had just seen Aline at the funeral that morning, everything was fine. I spent the next couple of hours trying to contact people and get things moving. Proud to say I have a little bit of Danny in me that I shut off my emotions and just got things done.

But since then I've been in a funk. I asked what was wrong with her, was she sick. She had the mumps. Aline was changing her diaper. She turned around to throw the diaper away and when she turned back around Natalie was having a seizure. They immediately brought her to the children's private hospital, but by time the doctor looked at her, she was gone. The freakin' mumps! I literally started cussing when I heard that. I can't count how many times we've had the mumps in our house. It kills me.

I look at these beautiful children around me. Dead. I try so hard to help and nothing. It's like I'm running my hardest on a treadmill and going no where. I'm struggling. I ask God for wisdom. I ask him for strength. I ask God for peace. And I feel the same.

Please pray for my heart. For rest in my spirit. For the joy of the Lord to come and renew me. And for strength again as we go to the funeral tomorrow for little Natalie.

Treadmill

2012-01-26T18:48:00.000-08:00

Sometimes getting things done in Haiti is like running your hardest on a treadmill. You waste a lot of time and energy but don't actually move anywhere. This about sums up my adventure this week in PAP.

Dav has one testicle. The left one has never come down and we have known since he was an infant that we needed to keep an eye out for an urologist to check him out and possibly have surgery. 2 years was the cut off wait time to see if it would come down on it's own. This was an important issue since if his other 'goods' doesn't come down it could make him sterile and 40 times more likely to get testicular cancer when he is older. Dav turned 2 in October and our friends, Dr Jim and Teresa, have been on the lookout for a specialist coming in. We finally received word a few months ago that an urologist would be coming in this week at King's Hospital in PAP.

I have to admit I was both excited that we could get this done and nervous because it's still surgery. So Sunday night I packed a night bag incase I needed to stay over night for the surgery. I was nervous about traveling with Dav and Joseph by myself so our friend, Frantzo, came with me. I had never heard of or been to this hospital, so I was pretty anxious. We left later than I would have liked because we had to stop by Patrick's school for a minute. However, his school wasn't opened so we kept on going. We arrived in PAP at 9 and got a little sidetracked on Delmas 33. It was sobering to pass by the intersection where dozens of people had died and dozens more critically injured in the accident last week. There were still parts of broken motos scattered about and surprisingly the intersection which is ALWAYS blocked up with traffic, was empty.

The directions given to me were vague. "Go to this street, turn right at the big pyramid in the intersection, drive for a couple of miles and you'll see it on your left. You can't miss it!" Surprisely, it was pretty easy to find. A big white 4 story building in the midst of rubble with the words 'King's Hospital' painted in black. We walked around asking where to go for several minutes. I must have explained about a dozen times why we were there. I was told to go to the pharmacy and pay for him to be seen by a doctor, even though he wasn't sick. It didn't matter that I was there for a surgery consult. No one knew the doctor I was looking, the urologist. I filled out the paperwork on Dav, paid the fee, and prayed that I was in the right place.

Dav was his normal energetic 2 year old self and wanted to talk, sing, touch, play, and move constantly. And in Haitian waiting rooms, children don't play, sing, talk, touch, or move. They are required to sit still and be quiet. Frantzo was a huge blessing to me with having another set of hands and explaining who we were, why we were here, and what we needed. It was exhausting answering all the curious questions. Who was I, who was this adorable white baby, is he your husband (in regards to Frantzo)? At that I laughed. I showed them Joseph's arm which is pale white and pointed to Frantzo's arm which is dark Haitian and said 'No, do you not see this is white and this is black?' To which they would laugh.

Finally after waiting 3 hours we saw the first doctor. She wanted me to speak to her in English and then didn't understand what I said, so I ended up speaking to her in Creole....which I prefer. During this time Dav decided to poop A LOT. So I had to change him which stunk up the very small room before she could poke and plod affirming that he only had one testicle. I was asked again to sit and wait to be seen by another doctor. After another hour I was called into a nice AC room with a foreign doctor and his translator. After a few minutes I realized this was the doctor I had been looking for along. He asked for the ultrasound which I told him Dav had never had one. He wrote up a prescription and ordered some blood test. I asked if this could be done here at the hospital today. Telling him that we had driven almost 4 hours to get here. He didn't know.

After that we went down the lab for the blood test. It was horrible, I always hate this part when you have to hold down your child while this stab the child in their finger tips to get blood. It was an exhausting 10 minutes while they pricked 4 fingers and his earlobe twice to get all the little tubes filled. Returning to the waiting room I found out that there was no ultrasound technician and I would have to have it done outside the hospital and bring it back. I almost lost my temper at this point. The gentleman talking to me was so disrespectful and talking to me like I was Dav's age. I understood what he was saying, I just wanted to know if there was another way. A nice charge nurse came and started calling places to see where I could get one done. She finally found a place on the other side of downtown. It was already after 2 and we had yet to eat lunch or dinner. So we called around in Jacmel and found a doctor that could do it. I just knew by time a beat traffic and arrived it would have been closed.

We ate at Epidor, Haiti McDonalds and headed home. On Tuesday we went to the doctor in Jacmel to get the ultrasound done. It was expensive and came with a free 10 minute lecture on that he needed to have surgery to have this fixed. However we got pictures and a letter. I was headed to PAP on Wednesday now, hoping for a surgery date.

Wednesday finally came after a long night with Joseph. We left later than I would have liked because I hit snooze too often. We arrived at the hospital a little after 9 AM. I paid the entrance fee and then waited. Waited. Waited. Waited. It seems that ALL of the doctors were busy and wouldn't be available until the afternoon. Finally at almost 2 PM I saw the doctor. We recognized me and I showed him the ultrasound and what the doctor said.

He explained to me that the testicle was too far up to be brought down. Depending on where it was he would have to have it removed for the high risk of cancer. However, he was too young to be operated on and I needed to wait another 6 months to a year before getting another ultrasound done. I needed to see if there was any changes. Nevertheless it wasn't a rush to get the surgery done and the longer I could wait the better. He was nice, drew me a picture and explained everything to me, answering all my questions. Honestly I was pissed. I had run around with my head chopped off trying to get all the paperwork in order only to be told he was too young to have surgery anyways. I left discouraged and confused.

I stopped by our friends' Dr. Jim and Teresa at the clinic in Christianville. I told Teresa about what the doctor said and she was confused and encouraged me to talk to Dr. Jim. At this point I got very confused and frustrated. Dr. Jim looked at me like I had another head and basically said that everything I had been told wasn't true. Dav needed to have the surgery done as soon as possible. They would help me find another urologist.

Three days I worked to try to get Dav his needed surgery. And now I'm just going to be Haitian and disregard what the doctor says wait for another to come. We want to do the right thing with Dav and if not having surgery is that, than that's fine with us. But every doctor, besides the urologist, says Dav needs to have this surgery. I'm discouraged to have done all that work, 2 trips to PAP, all that money on test, and nothing to show for. I pray that another urologist will come soon and be able to help me.

Thank you guys for your prayers.

Betrayal

2012-01-26T10:44:00.000-08:00

I went into Florida to “work through” some stuff. I needed some down time, to rest, pray, re-focus, think, grieve, process, talk through, etc. It has been REALLY been good so far, and I have had a chance to have some great conversations with some great men. Looking forward to what the next two weeks are going to bring. One of the points I wanted to spend more time working through is grieving lost friendships and relationships. Grieving the betrayal of friends, and then continue to forgive it. I want to grieve the losses without becoming bitter about the hurt. I want to set up better boundaries and protect myself, but I want to be able to trust again. I want to put myself out there, but I don’t want to be continued to be hurt, betrayed. I thought about this expression:

“You fool me once shame on you, you fool me twice shame on me”

And I understand it. Yet I don’t fully agree with it. I don’t want to be another missionary, another Christian, another Pastor that hides in his home, avoids personal contact, avoids conflict. That avoids situation that can bring about harm, I want to be known by my community, I want to be loved by my community, I want to serve, help, and care for the community I live in. Yet I don’t want to be fooled, to be hurt. Well you can’t have it both ways. You can protect yourself to a certain degree, but if you are going to serve, to love, to live, you will be hurt. You will be betrayed. This scripture verse says it clearly:

Psalms 41:9

Even my close friend,

someone I trusted,

one who shared my bread,

has turned[a] against me.

Then I look at Jesus’ ministry. He choose to be betrayed. He knew a head of time the people, his friends that were going to betray Him. Yet he still stayed in relationship, he still put himself out there. The days, hours, months, and years of persecution and critism He walked through, yet He awoke each day, live well, loved well, and served well. And though I am FAR away from being able to be compared to Jesus, I want to begin by making the choice to follow his example, and to put myself out there no matter the risk. No matter the cost.

I will never fully understand this. But I see a glimpse at the cost Christ paid, a truly innocent man. And I am humbled as my hardships, betrayal, hurts don’t compare.

Honestly, I don’t have the courage to do this. I don’t have the stamina to do this any longer; I don’t have the strength to do this. I don’t have the support to do this. But I believe if I walk in Him and follow Him and His calling each day, that He will give me what I need. Maybe not for too much in the future, but enough for today. Please continue to pray for me as I walk in this.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support.

Danny Pye

Michelet's Story

2012-01-26T04:06:00.000-08:00

My name is Michelet Rene. I was arrested on May 12th 2010 with my friend and employee Nelson, and I wanted to take a moment to share my story.

I am 22 years old and have been dating a young woman named Jisemine. We have been dating for a year, I am a mechanic working full time for a shop in Bremond, working on chasseys and transmissions of large dump trucks. I was overseeing the shop for the owner, Fredo, and had many employees under me. I have been educated and trained extensively as an auto mechanic and am well known and respected in the Jacmel area. I am a hard worker and take great pride in everything I do. This has given me great opportunities to advance in my work place, and become very trusted with my boss, driving and maintaining his and his wife’s personal vehicles as well. Things were going well for me. I made a steady income, that provided a comfortable life for me. I built a small home for myself on my family's land, and helped in paying tuition for Jisemine and her sister to attend school. I enjoyed what I did, and got along with everyone in the work place, because I treating them fairly and showed them respect by my words and actions. I picked up side jobs as well buying wrecked cars, and selling off the parts. It was a good business, and I made good money doing that.

This all changed for me overnight. Nelson, an employee of mine, who over time would become my friend, was a young 19 year old orphan boy, living with his Aunt and Uncle in the middle of downtown. I taught him auto mechanics, and he came to work for me. I kept him busy and paid him fairly. He was a very hard worker, kept to himself for the most part, but was a quick learner.

Nelson bought a used cell phone in down town one afternoon, complete with a SIM card. It was a nice phone, and was excited and proud of his bargain. He bought it for just 500 goudes or $13.00 USD. A week later he received phone calls, it was a girl and she was interested in meeting up with Nelson. Like most timid young men, this intrigued him. He set up a time and a place to meet up with her a week later. The girl continued to call that week, and needed to get a ride to the meeting place that day. Finally the day arrived. Nelson came to me, and asked if I could help by going and picking up this girl, and bring her to the place they were to meet. I had several commitments already, and could not go immediately but saw how important it was for him, and committed to going later in the afternoon. Nelson not having any minutes on his phone call her from my phone this time, to confirm the new time. I was to call her on my way to pick her up.

So I did so accordingly, I called her and drove to pick her up.   To my surprise I met this older woman waiting with four police officers. I was not too afraid, I knew I did not commit any crime, and proceeded to stop and introduce myself. I was immediately handcuffed and brought to the police station with the truck I was driving being impounded. Four hours later, it was explained to me that this woman's cell phone was stolen, and I was being accused of this crime. They took my cell phone, but the woman quickly confirmed that it wasn’t her cell phone or her number. I went on to explain who I was and that I was in fact here to pick her up for my employee Nelson. The police went out later that evening and picked up and arrested Nelson. We sat for 4 days in the 'kay David'. It is where the officers put arrested men, a 5 foot by 8 foot room, with no running water, allowed outside just once a day in the mornings, rarely brought water or food by. It was the worse place I have ever seen. On day four, we were called before Judge Maxo Samdei and he listen to our case. We explained in depth what was going on with the cell phone, and he promised as soon as they find and arrest the man that sold the cell phone to Nelson and confirm his story, we would both be released. We were escorted that afternoon back to the prison, though instead of returning to the 'kay David', we were brought into the main prison in Jacmel, and escorted into the prison, directly into cell 2. That was one of the hardest days I can remember. Fellow inmates beat me and stole all the clothes, shoes, and supplies my family just gave me when I saw them at the court house. I was sore for months later, I am not sure if I bruised any ribs since I was never seen by a physician, but they beat me so bad I was spitting blood. They didn’t beat Nelson as bad, since the police came in after hearing all the ruckus and stopped them before they had the chance.

Those next three days where the longest. I couldn’t eat anything, as I lay in pain from the beating. At last good news, as my family was able to track down the old man Jean Jack who sold the cell phone to Nelson. He was arrested and it was discovered he in fact did steal the phone and sell it to Nelson. There was great joy as they brought him into cell one, as I knew I would be released short thereafter.

We thought we would be released immediately, but sadly it never happened. Waiting hours, turned into waiting days, turned into waiting weeks, turned into waiting months. Each day I had hope that that would be the day, and devastated by Friday afternoon, dredging through Saturday, and then the glimmer of hope on Sunday for the new week. Maybe this would be the week.

The conditions in the prison were horrible. The worst part for me is how inmates were treated, how I was treated. I lived my life respecting others, treating others fairly, and was treated in the same way. Not so in prison. Dogs get better treatment in Haiti then inmates. Being locked in a 10 foot by 15 foot cell with anywhere of 25 to 50 other men. No running water, little electricity, no plumbing facilities, the smells were horrible. Watching what inmates did to themselves and others were unbearable. The prison guards would flaunt their power and authority by talking down, hitting, tasing us. Yes I was beaten several times. By both inmates and prison guards, all for no apparent reasons. For me it was hopeless, the despair was becoming intolerable by each passing day.

Things on the outside got bad as well. My boss was forced to replace me. He himself came to the prison and spent his own funds trying to get me released with no success. My house caught on fire two months after being in prison, and ALL my earthy possessions were lost. A man I owed money from buying his wrecked truck, and not finish selling off the parts, so I could not afford to finish paying him off. He became angry and started causing problems for my extended family and making complaints against me in the court house. Then those parts were stolen a week later. Life was falling apart. During this time, a silver lining, I learned early on that my girlfriend Jisemine was pregnant. Although it was not our plan, I do love Jisemine and would love to marry her and have a family with her someday. This brought me joy and even some excitement. But then a few months in I learned of her sickness and then apparent miscarriage, again heartbroken not being able to console her, angry feeling like if I was not in jail it wouldn’t have happened.

Five months into my imprisonment a white man was arrested and brought into my cell. I recognized him immediately; he ran a ministry and employed a good friend and fellow mechanic Roro. I jumped off the bunk upon his arrival, me and three other men stood around him, not allowing the fellow inmates to beat him up as they did to me, five months prior. Danny and I became friends; he was just like me and was intentional about showing respect to others, and living by that creed. I taught him how to play a few Haitian card games and dominoes. And we became friends during the next five months. We shared stories, meals, and talked about life and ministry. My life would be forever changed during one of church times led in our cell by Danny. We were talking about giving our life to Christ. I said that as soon as I get out of prison I was going to turn my life around and give my life to Christ. I was raised Catholic but never had a personal relationship with Christ. Danny response was profound and made me think. He asked 'why wait? Why wait until after you get out? Why not accept Jesus to be your Savior now?' So I did, I decided not to wait. It changed everything, but yet at the same time everything was still the same.

Those five months in prison with Danny was different, better than the first five months. Less hopeless days, more laughter, more fun. Sure there were hard days, during the prison breaks, the Christmas and New Years in jail. For a short time I thought Danny was going back home for Christmas, then he was released Christmas Eve to be returned back into prison moments later. There were riots that day, we were very angry at the injustice for this innocent man to be arrested a second time. Yet in that moment Danny made us laugh. He told us a bogus story about knocking out an officer so he wouldn’t miss Christmas with us, his fellow call mates. It broke the tension in that moment. Christmas was hard, but better with Danny around. We shared everything, Danny helped get clothes into me, towels, sheets, medication for me and many other cell mates. He would give us his food every day, his own food that his wife sent. At the same time, I had to force Danny to eat, and when he was sick and refused to eat, I would write his family, and tell them. We became true friends.

Those next few months there were so many moments of hopelessness. Some weekends I would just take 20 sleeping pills, just to sleep through the weekend. I got to a point that I never even went outside during breaks, I became so depressed and hopeless. I watched men die from Cholera, TB, Typhoid, almost on a weekly basis. I wondered how I was going to die? When I was going to go? How it would end for me. Feeling hopeless, knowing I wouldn’t get out.

I remember the good days too. Where we played hours of Kazino, hours of Dominos, played soccer outside on the cement area where we bathed. I remember talking with Danny for hours about the village of Jacmel, about potential jobs, asking him to help me get released, help me get a home, a job.

Finally Danny was released in March, and I knew that meant my release soon after. Although I lost hope quickly when Danny didn’t come right back to begin helping me. I was surprised and over joyed in April when Danny returned to the prison, with news of making it to his wife for the birth of his son. I had hope again. We talked for hours scheming the best way to get Nelson and I released.

Danny hired an attorney and worked hard for the next 7 months. It was discouraging, and I felt hopeless once again. I became very sick, and got to the point of refusing treatment. Then November 24th the dream came a reality. Danny came into the prison that morning, and had it all set up for my and Nelson's release later that afternoon. We walked out of jail that afternoon, hand in hand!! I went to the beach, and washed off prison, threw my prison clothes into the ocean, washed up and joined Danny and his family for a great dinner!! That night I learned that it was a holiday in America, Thanksgiving Day. I had many things to be grateful for.

I have since found a job driving a dump truck, while Nelson is working back at the old repair shop. I am living in the Kenbe Fem boy's home. I attend church every Sunday, and spend many evenings sitting on the front porch with Danny remembering prison and playing card games. I am so thankful for Danny and his family for the sacrifices that he made to rescue me!! And I thank God for saving me!!

~Michlet Rene

Sad Day

2012-01-24T12:49:00.000-08:00

Well I'm taking it as a sign from God. My good camera has been broken for months and now my little black camera is broken. So it's pretty impossible to do 365 Project and take a picture every day. I'm bummed, been enjoying doing this and will pick it up again when I have a camera.
Oh well.

Thru the Pain

2012-01-22T15:19:00.000-08:00

Nesly is my lovably street thug. Honestly out of all our kids if I was struck alone in the slums of PAP and only had one kid with me, I'd chose Nesly. He's a great quick thinker and has a lot of common sense.

Anyway, a couple days ago he was going up the stairs and fell slicing his toe pretty bad. Of course, being a teenage boy, he didn't tell me until the next day so there was no point in getting stitches. He decided to try to 'fix' it himself and broke up an antibiotic making a paste and putting it directly on the cut. This didn't do anything but make a disgusting hard shell of dried blood, powdered medicine, sweat, and dirt. He woke up this morning and couldn't even walk on it from the pain. So it was Mama Leann's turn. I had him soak it in hot salt water, then just syringed water directly on it to loosen it up and clean it out. However, because of the hard shell I had to take a operating sponge and scrub it clean. As you can imagine, this was very painful and I stopped many times to give him a break. At one point I told Nesly that he could totally cuss if it hurt that much, that's what I would do.

Towards the end, he told me he was feeling really light headed. He stood up and then fell down on the ground. He lifted his hands in the air and started shouting 'Victory in God! I have victory in God! I have strength from God!' I was so surprised and shocked at his words. After a few minutes he felt better. I rinsed off his foot and gave him some Ibuprofen.

Sometimes I am still amazed at the faith of Haitians. Even in the midst of pain, they praise God.

365 Project - Jan 21

2012-01-21T18:38:00.000-08:00

This is Diane. She decided to take some blank cards and design and color Haitian scenes on them to sell to teams. Our kids have just been entrepreneurs lately!

This is the final product for Patrick's birthday present. I finally finished it! He loved it!

365 Project - Jan 20

2012-01-21T18:21:00.000-08:00

This is one of my favorite meals. It's kinda like beef soup with dumplings.

It's made with beef, potatoes, spinach leaves, boiled plantains, yams, and the finger-looking things are like dumplings. It's amazing!

Going to the Doctor

2012-01-19T07:31:00.000-08:00

Monday made Day 4 of Djovandy having a fever. So Loudrige and I went to the local Pediatrician's office in Jacmel, Dr. Joly Care. I have personal reasons for not liking the guy, but he's great with babies and children. Strangely he is only open at night, so at 5 PM we headed over and walked into a full waiting room. There was about 15 other women with little children. I held Djovandy while Loudrige signed in, then sat down and so started lesson #32312 of Haitian culture.

For 4 HOURS, I sat and listened to advice, gossip, comparing, school assignments, etc.
I learned

that every Haitian baby, to go outside the home, needs to have the following things: shoes, thick blanket which is wrapped around the baby, at least 2 layers on, formula, spit up rag, and optional is a white towel that is also used to wrap the baby in
what formula taste better and even saw a Mom eat a scoop of powder in her mouth
hopefully optimistic about Martelly (the new president) and his education plan
the louder and more aggressive you are, the faster you get in (which is probably why we waited 4 hours)
the price of rice
more and more people are leaving PAP
people are looking forward to Carnival
that you are absolutely NOT aloud to put your child on the floor, you or a stranger must hold your child at all times
Good Haitian men are rare. The only time the room was quiet was when a man walked in with a take out box of food, took a baby, handed the box to the woman, and than proceeded to talk with, sing to the baby. Every woman stared at him with longing.
There is a new clinic opening up near where our old house is.
A lot of people are moving out of tents.
You can give your baby crushed aspirin if they have a fever. (YIKES!)
You can give babies water at any age.
At one point a woman came in with a toddler. He had been hit by truck and his face was distorted. The mother told the story over and over with little emotion. I would have been heart broken.
Pinching is acceptable if your baby is crying.
Random people will hold your baby, and it's OK.
Brazil is no longer the favorite soccer team.
White people who speak Creole are rare.
To see a good doctor it cost 250 Gds or about $6.20, not including meds which was about $12

By the end, my head was killing me with listening so much. However, Djovandy was finally seen and diagnosed with an ear infection. He is on meds and feeling better. We have a follow up appointment, but I think I'll send Loudrige on her own. LoL! I don't know if I can take any more advice.

365 Project - Jan 19

2012-01-19T03:34:00.000-08:00

Good Morning. The earth says hello!

I wish you guys could see the pretty orange, pink, and red of the sunrise here. I think it's going to be a great day!

365 Project - Jan 18

2012-01-19T03:29:00.000-08:00

Mama Leann was nice and let the boys watch a match on tv. Barcelona vs Madrid, Barcelona won making my boys jump around and dance! LoL!

365 Project - Jan 17

2012-01-19T03:24:00.000-08:00

These beans are called 'Pwa Miami' or Miami Beans

We use them to make white bean sauce

365 Project - Jan 16

2012-01-18T04:53:00.000-08:00

Vania studying after school

365 Project - Jan 15

2012-01-17T19:10:00.000-08:00

Joseph loves to wake up with Daddy at 5 AM. So he hangs out in his swing and falls asleep around 7 AM. Danny is always getting 'yelled at' for letting him sleep in there.

365 Project - Jan 14

2012-01-17T19:06:00.000-08:00

Dav finishing his lunch of white rice and black bean sauce.

365 Project - Jan 13

2012-01-13T19:56:00.000-08:00

This is Kyle, he's an almost doctor. I love this guy! He has a passion for the community of Seguin that is pretty relentless. Please keep him in your prayers as he comes back and forth to Haiti lovin' on God's forgotten. (And he's single and available! Heeheehee!)

365 Project - Jan 12

2012-01-13T19:51:00.000-08:00

2nd Anniversary of the earthquake we, as a community and church, did a walk praying, remembering, and talking about the earthquake. Thousands showed up.

365 Project - Jan 11

2012-01-13T19:50:00.000-08:00

Love this kid! She is hilarious!

2nd Year Anniversary

2012-01-13T17:34:00.000-08:00

Ok, so this is a little late, but yesterday was really busy and hectic, so I didn’t do any writing. But the 12th of January for Haitians and those that were in Haiti during the Earth quake is all about a day of remembrance and reflection. Remembering those that we lost, rejoicing with those that were spared in the earth quake two years ago now. Haiti and Haitians have taught me so much about how to deal with devastation and death.

I am still amazed at how the vast population take something so devastating and see the good, and remember the good, and make the day of remembrance about good, and not about self-loathing or mourning. Our lost and hardship on that day was really nothing compared to those around us. The cracks in our home, Ticarlis’ injury to his foot, and the emotional trauma of course, was really nothing in comparison. Looking back the hardest moment I remember as a family was days earlier, Leann’s miscarriage, and we JUST bought tickets to go to the US the night before, to get seen by a doctor and take some time to process and grieve our loss. Remembering going to Leann literally within the hour after the Earthquake saying that we had to stay, we had to move past our loss. Our family needed us, our community needed us, our Church needed us, our employees needed us, our missionary team needed us.

Honestly even now, I am so proud of my family, or our missionary team, of the families we lived with and served with and worked under us. God used us in amazing ways, within minutes and hours after the devastating quake. We immediately went into action, first evaluating the damage of our other homes, getting the kids from afternoon school, and getting a hold of all our employees to make sure the immediate families and friends were ok, then immediately serving the communities in which we lived, by offering food, housing, setting up refugee camps literally outside our homes for our families and for the families around us. Having internet still working, and generators in the homes, we were contacted by literally hundreds of requests concerned for homes, family members, team members, etc, so we immediately went to “check up” on the requests and follow back immediately with the families. Then the airport, being responsible for the airport for weeks, bringing in hundreds of thousands of pounds of food, water, medications, and medical supplies, then the people coming in. Helping set up operation rooms, clinics, feeding centers, etc. Distributing the food and supplies day and night to local pastors and leaders to get it out to the population as fast as we were getting it in. The flight to Leogone delivering needed supplies and people to an area that was completely cut off, the stories are endless.

Many other stories, some of which I have forgotten, or have tried to forget, when so I choose not to write about. Some of the rescues the success and the failed. The smells, the death, the high stress environments, and the grieving of tens of thousands. Honestly I take no credit, and give all the credit first and foremost to God, for using us in amazing ways, for my family for choosing to step up in major way, for my friends and partners in ministries, couldn’t have been nearly effective without them. To the support of the Canadian military, the UN, and many other local government officials. Watching mission groups come together for the same cause was inspirational and life changing for me. Grateful and proud to be a part of something so much bigger then myself.

The earthquake put Haiti on the map. The estimated deaths well over 300,000 people, it was considered one of the worst devestaions per capita that the World has ever seen. The support flooded in, for every organization, including ours. For the first time ever our organization was not living month to month, and we were able to buy the new vehicles, the new motorcycles, we partnered with several other organizations, moved into our new office, and built an infostructure for ourselves and other ministries. We were doing more and more ministries and outreaches, serving and helping our community more and more. In the refugee camps, in the hospitals, ministries I only dreamed about. We led over 135 employees, it was exciting. We grew fast, probably too fast. I think it was one of the reasons our ministry was taken away. With growth, with success, also comes jealousy, greed, and selfishness.

Oddly my reflections yesterday was looking back over the past year. And my memories focused on the good, not the bad. Last year January 12th we had one of the biggest “Church services” worship times in the prison. It was exciting to see other cells get involved, doors were opened literally that day, and lives were changed. Another highlight for me was news coverage locally in Jacmel covered the revival and march in Jacmel, which our ministry and family helped host and participated in. So I literally got to see EVERYONE of my kids and wife on TV in the prison. It was SO exciting for me, the highlight of my month. It was three months that I was in Prison by then, and it helped me withstand the next two months. Sounds silly, but most of my kids I never even saw before that moment, so it was a joy, and they replayed those clips over and over, a joy.

This year our family participated in the revivals and march again. This was of course the first year I did the walk with them, and it was A LOT of fun, and thousands swarmed the streets and marched, prayed, sang, and shared in the memories of 12th of January. We attended the evening revivals leading up to it, but then the march began at 2:00p.m with a prayer and worship service, then at 4:00 until 7:00 marching through the city of Jacmel. It was fun and exhausting!!

365 Project - Jan 10

2012-01-11T04:38:00.000-08:00

There is this Haitian card game called 'Kazeno'. It's fun, uses math a lot. Most of my older kids know it. Danny learned it in prison and loves to play it A LOT. Here he is tonight with Nelson, one of the guy he helped get out of prison. It's a lot of fun to watch them and see who wins. It's always a toss up!

Riann and Teresa

2012-01-10T15:38:00.000-08:00

Riann has an invisible friend named Teresa. I can't remember how long after the earthquake Teresa came to be, but it was fairly soon. It's fun to watch Riann talk, sing, and dance with her. When I ask for more about Teresa, Riann has told me some interesting and alarming details.

Teresa is her friend. Teresa is her sister. Teresa died. Teresa died in her Mommy's tummy, but she's a little girl now. Teresa loves Jesus. Teresa loves to sing. Teresa loves to dance.

I realize that children are really good at picking things up. However, 2 years ago we lost a baby. And maybe Riann, somehow at 3 years old, picked up on what was happening, but my heart says that maybe, just maybe, Riann is talking with her sister. Her sister with Jesus in Heaven. And I'm sure if she is anything like Riann, our baby would have loved to sing, dance, play with her big sister Riann.

I don't know. But maybe.

Please Pray

2012-01-10T06:02:00.000-08:00

Please pray for me...I have known that forgiveness and healing is a process, but honestly was hoping the process would have been completed by now...but the raw honesty is it isn't, it is a continued work, or work in progress. Many people close to us advised us not to return to Haiti as quickly as we did, not to return to work as fast as we did after all the trama, after being released from prison, losing all our funding, our friends, our vehicles, land, and assets. I sought professional councel in the US and honestly surprised them on how well I was dealing, and moving forward. Part of my jumping back in right away was my desire, and it was typical of me. I missed my kids in Haiti so much, the relationships in Haiti so much. The other side was the need. The grim reality is Leann was drowning, our ministry was suffering being significantly underfunded. Many supporters and friends told lies too, not knowing what to believe. Waiting to hear from us. There was a need to get back to Haiti, host teams, then get on the road and speak with supporters, explain the truth about the last years events, the short comings, the hurts, the prison. So we did, and it has made all the difference. We are living financially in a MUCH healthier place. But the anger, the hurt, the betrayal, the grieving of lost friends, lost relationships still exsist. I felt before I couldn't step back, and take time to process to heal, because my wife needed me, my kids needed me, my ministry needed me. Now I feel that they are in a much better place because of the hard work over that last nine months since my release from prison, and I feel the time is coming for me to step back, and process, and grieve, and deal with the hurts, the betrayals, the losses, process the effect prison had on me, process the effect on starting a ministry and losing everything. Process the effect of closest friends, mentours, supporting Church, turning there backs and betraying me like I have never experienced before. I beleive I have forgiven, but I also beleive that forgiveness is a process, and the wounds are still healing. The hurt exsists when I see my truck drive by, when I see an old friend, turn and look away, when I hear of support for our kids still being sent to Joy in Hope, knowing they have not supported us in any way in over a year. Knowing the lies that have been spread. Knowing the things still being said. Much of me still desires to sit down and talk through face to face, hoping and wishing for resolve, for healing, but wondering if I am ready for that. Knowing Leann isn't. Knowing that the hurt and sacrifice Leann endured was so much greater then mine. Please pray as I seek out the time and way to continue this process, continue this healing, continue this forgiveness. Thanks
-DP

The Many Faces of Joseph

2012-01-09T19:35:00.000-08:00

Danny was chillin' on the bed watching a movie and Joseph pops up and start singing 'Dadada-dadadada-dada'. It was SO CUTE! So Danny took some pictures of the many faces of Joseph while he was singing.

365 Project - Jan 9

2012-01-09T19:28:00.000-08:00

Back in December I bought some sparklers to bring back with me. We used the last pack tonight. It was insane. Toto thought it would be funny to throw lit sparklers onto the 2nd story porch, Riann burnt her finger from a burnt out done sparkler, Tina wanted to see if my hair would catch fire, Dave was TERRIFIED and kept screaming like the devil was chasing him, and Slandia danced with hers. Glad that was the last of them. It was fun while we had them!

365 Project - Jan 8

2012-01-08T18:20:00.000-08:00

Elinda came into the orphanage when she was only 2 years old. Today she received a nice surprise and met her biological little brother. She never knew he exsisted.

They talked for hours by the gate, it was a great moment for her..

365 Project - Jan 7

2012-01-07T19:35:00.000-08:00

Spa Time!!

My kids love to exfoliate, wash, scrub, trim, etc. each others feet. It's hilarious and disgusting to watch.

Peyi Di (Hard Country)

2012-01-07T19:32:00.000-08:00

For a few weeks Leann and I had been talking about me going up and visiting Seguin for a few days. I enjoy taking the motorcycle and just going. It helps clear my head and gives me time to just think and pray about things. I headed up Wednesday, however, the weather didn't look to good so I stayed in Kay Jacmel Wednesday night with Jackson, one of my prison friends that I helped get released. We had a great time reflecting on prison life, catching up on each other's families, and playing Kazeno, a card game I learned in prison. This was day 1 of my get-away trip!! Thursday morning I went to the local public beach for a few hours and swam out to the reef. I had lots of fun hanging out with Jackson.

I headed to Seguin Thursday afternoon. It was a fun and uneventful trip. Though it was a ROUGH ROAD!! OUCH!! Even on a motorcycle, rough road. I was once again overwhelmed with the welcome I received from friends in Seguin. I stayed the next two nights at Sony and Elira's home, visiting friends and hiking to the forest each day!!

I spent some time with Jackie and Jocelyn's family. These are two boys in our Seguin boy's home, also called Wisdom Seekers. Their family has had some recent hardships. Their Grandmother passed away suddenly and violently. She was run over by a big truck that was full of people and food. It supposedly was a very bad accident. This happened right before the New Year's. One of the reasons I came up was to attend the funeral. Also last week their mom gave birth to a beautiful little girl, who was born breached. From what I understand they believe her feet are broken. So the little baby is wrapped from the waist down to help her heal correctly. All I know is she is a beautiful little girl. Though I definitely ask to keep this family in your prayers!

I spent some time just hanging out in the main market area. Listening to news, catching up on families I knew, children that were growing up. I visited our first home. It was difficult visiting the compound. The clinic there is closed now. Still, people come to be seen. I saw a few sitting in the waiting area on the front porch. I told them the clinic was closed and to visit the nurse that used to work there to see if she could help. I can still remember Dr. Teresa and Margarette working for hours each day. In the 10 years the clinic has been there it has seen ten's of thousand of patients. I know that some doctors friends of ours are planning on opening another clinic in the next town down the mountain. I pray that they will travel the extra miles to see a real doctor and not just a 'healer'. My heart breaks for this community.

I visited Mary Loude and Emmanuel. They had twins last year and have been struggling so much. She just had surgery a couple weeks ago. They had to leave their children by themselves and go to Port-au-Prince to get everything done. Mary Loude was very sick and Emmanuel needed to travel with her. I am constantly amazed at their hearts, so full of compassion and joy. I saw their new house and was glad that they were blessed this Christmas.

Saturday came and I was asked to help a pastor's daughter in Seguin. Her baby has been crowned for two days and was stuck in the birth canal. I paid a truck to come to Seguin, pick her up and had it bring her to the hospital. I don't believe the baby is living any longer, however I can't even imagine the pain she is in.

My friend, Frantzo, drove up to Seguin to just drive down with me. I think it's a little crazy, but hey I don't mind the company. Strangely, one of the reasons I came up was to speak with the local Catholic priest to see if I can use with team housing with a team I have coming to Seguin in a few months. Ironically the days I was up in Seguin, he was down in Jacmel. So I came down early to see if I could get ahold of him.

I made it down the mountain with no problems. Though I'm already tired and I know I will be sore tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing Leann and going to the beach today with the kids. After lunch I visited the hospital where the pastor's daughter, Geena, came. I was heartbroken to hear that she delivered a beautiful, big 8 pound baby girl who was stillborn. I am heartbroken for this family and especially Geena, the young woman.

Sometimes I look around and am reminded over and over again how hard life is in this country. I left to have some space to think and came back with more things on my heart. Overall it was a good trip, nevertheless my heart is heavy.
-DP

365 Project - Jan 6

2012-01-06T16:10:00.000-08:00

Magdaline carrying Joseph around.

365 Project - Jan 5

2012-01-06T16:05:00.000-08:00

So I'm having issues with my mac and Internet. They sometimes fight and don't talk to each other like two teenage girls! This is one of those moments. Oh well.

This is a project I'm working on for Patrick's birthday. I'm really excited about it! This is just a practice page, not the final product. I might do this with each child.

Cutting Onions

2012-01-05T08:43:00.000-08:00

Christmas party was hard work. Lots of food to chop, cut, roll, fry, etc. Lots of onions that needs to be chopped, sliced, and cut. We were laughing about me crying my eyes out from the onions. And I was telling Anise how I read that if you push the roof of your mouth with your tongue, it helps you not to cry. She didn't believe me. Slandia then came over and offered to help me with the 50 million onions I had to slice. She then asked for 'linet nwa', black glasses. According to her, black glasses or sunglasses help you not to cry too.

So I totally had to take a picture! BTW, the glasses didn't work too.

365 Project-Jan 4

2012-01-04T19:09:00.000-08:00

Vania received a pair of roller skates this Christmas. We decided to go to the local airport that has nice long hallways and try them out. Had a blast with Diane and Vania. Pretty sure I'm going to be hurting tomorrow though! LoL!

365 Project-Jan 3

2012-01-03T17:47:00.000-08:00

So Woody was bored today, with no school and all, and decided to take apart this cell phone and put it back together piece by piece.

Yeah, She's Haitian...

2012-01-03T10:14:00.000-08:00

Well, after my staff has been telling me for years that Riann is Haitian after Sunday I believe she officially is.

So we are at the beach, playing, running around having fun like usual. Riann was walking with Danny and a random UN guy picks Riann up and has his picture taken with her. No notice, no 'hey can I take a picture with your kid', or anything. Now those who know Riann will be surprised, but she totally freaked out (Good for her) and ran into the water. Well for the next 30 minutes they continued to try to take a picture of the pretty white girl which Riann would just turn her back to them. If I wasn't so annoyed, I would have laughed.

Nevertheless it gets better, as we are packing up and leaving. 2 UN guys motion for a family shot of them with all 4 of us. Then proceeds to take Joseph out of my arms, again no notice. When it was all done. They nicely showed me the picture, of course talking about us infront of us, and then walked off.

So we are playing at the beach, foreigners take pictures with our kids without a word, shown the picture off their camera, and talked about in third person. It's truly like we are Haitian...

365 Project-Jan 2

2012-01-03T05:48:00.000-08:00

Danny teaching Elinda how to drive this 3 wheel motorcycle in the soccer field behind our house. It was hilarious to watch!

365 Project-Jan 1

2012-01-03T05:32:00.000-08:00

Several of my friends last year did this project of taking 1 picture every day and blogging/facebooking it. Well, this year I'm going to try it. As much as internet will let me that is. Hoping it will help show more of our lives here in Haiti.

This is Patrick, our oldest in the home. He is musically talented and loves to show off. This was taken at our New Year's Service at church, probably around 3 AM and he's still going strong!

(On a side not, notice the drum heads. He plays so enthusiastically that they literally have green duck tape on them so they won't tear. We need to buy new ones.)

Happy New Year

2011-12-31T20:47:00.000-08:00

As we celebrate the New Year, we take time to reflect on the good and the bad that 2011 brought us. We take time to look ahead making plans and hopes for what 2012 has in store for us. Many of us make resolutions for things we want to change, habits, and life choices. Many of us make goals, personal, spiritual, for ourselves, for our families, in education, for our businesses, and/or for our ministries.

Personally New Years is one of my favorite celebrations. This is the event at our Church where we all share a meal together; we focus on the good that has happened last year!! We sing, we worship, we enjoy skits and dramas, we cry, we laugh, we laugh until we cry. However my highlight is the feet washing service. Reminding the Church, the community, and the family that we are all in this together. We all need to help each other, serve each other, and love each other. I have learned more from the Haitian community that I serve then they have or will ever learn from me. I hope that you take some time to serve, to give, to love, to live as you celebrate this New Years Day!!

We hope and pray that you have a blessed New Year’s celebration.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Below is a video that Leann made of our 2011 year in review. If you have a few minutes, please watch and remember with us. It's been an eventful year, to say the least:

Haitian Church Pt 2

2011-12-29T13:44:00.000-08:00

Thank you God for you grace.

Thank you God for your Son.

Thank you God for Your love.

Thank you God for us getting to church.

Thank you God for your mercies new every morning.

Thank you God for our health.

Thank you God for breakfast.

Thank you God for saving us in the earthquake.

Thank you God for my children.

Thank you God for my job

Thank you God for my talent of singing.

Thank you God for forgiving me.

Thank you God for..

The spirit of gratitude is over whelming in our Haitian church in Jacmel any given Sunday. From the worship leader to the pastor to the 10 million soloists it is very common to hear 'God blessed be Your Name. Thank you for...' As that person prays for thanks the whole congregation will pray individually out loud about things they are thankful for.

I am constantly humbled during these times that my prayers rarely start or end with my thanks to God. Instead they are full of 'Father help me....Father give me....Father I need...' Nevertheless it is so important for me to look at my life and see the blessing God has given me.

The Psalms are full of praises and thanks to God. In Psalms 118 it says:

"You are my God, and I will give you thanks;
you are my God, and I will exalt you.
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever." (118:28-29)

Infact we are commanded to give thanks:

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"... Always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Ephesians 5:20

As the new year comes and you feel overwhelmed with troubles, issues, and problems. Take 5 minutes and just write things that you are thankful for. Little and big, mundane and important. You will be amazed at the blessing that God has already given you. I know that I am.

Very Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T20:01:00.000-08:00

It's crazy what a year will do, how much can change. 3 Christmases ago was our first Christmas without Jabez. It was so hard to celebrate when there is a huge empty whole in your heart. Many times Danny and I would take moments and just cry and reminiscence together alone. 2 Christmases ago I was pregnant and having complications. The fear of a miscarriage shadowed me and my spirit. I was pretty emotional and just cried a lot. I didn't know then, however I would later find out, the baby had stopped growing around this time. We lost him/her on January 10, just 2 days before the earthquake.

Last Christmas was the hardest yet. I, along with Haitian friends, lawyer, and our Haitian Senior Pastor, worked weeks getting things moving for Danny to be released. Pushing paperwork, getting people to do their jobs, calling dozens of leads, etc. On Christmas Eve our prayers had been answered. I was able to get another judge to look at Danny's paperwork. They agreed that it was illegal, wrong, and lines had been crossed to not only put Danny in jail, but to keep him there. As the American Embassy said, 'For some reason this civil issues was taken to a criminal judge. We have no clue why this happened." The release papers were signed and sent to the prison. I remember being very excited and anxious that it was finally happening on Christmas Eve. The kids knew something was up, but had no clue that Danny was being released. I sat on the prison stairs for over 2 hours while his release papers got this signature, that stamp, this other signature, etc. Seeing Danny and walking out with him was amazing. Hearing him give away most of his stuff and walking out carrying the books I had sent in, arguing with the commander over who owned the phone that I had sent in weeks before. I can still see it in my mind's eye. Walking out of the police station towards Teresa's truck. Being approached by the judge's police officer (the one that normally guards his office door). Him handing Danny a paper, Danny handing it to me. It was in French and official. It was signed by the judge that had put him in the jail in the beginning. I asked what it said. The police officer just smirked and said just read it. Then snatched it out of my hand, handcuffed Danny again, and escorted him right back in. Honestly, it is a miracle from God that I didn't miscarry Joseph that day. I started making phone calls and had Haitian friends to help me figure out what in a matter of minutes. I learned what the arrest warrant said, that Danny was in possession of illegal documents...which could mean fake money, fake residence card, fake birth certificate. Later I would find out that the judge said he was angry that another judge had stepped in, writing the release making him look bad.
I went to our friends, the Hancocks, house and just cried. And then I had to go home to a house full of children that had been praying daily for their Dad to come home for Christmas. Sitting in our living room, explaining to them what had happened they were strangely calm. We read Luke 2 together, sang a few carols, and started passing around Christmas presents. I remember looking around and seeing the reality slowly open their eyes. Many of them cried. I know I did. Jon, Jennifer, Amber, Carrie, and I just went around hugging each of them as they wept. It was a hard Christmas. The only highlight was my Mom's church flew her in to spend a few days with me. It was the help I needed to get thru the holidays.
This Christmas was surreal. We were together. Both Danny and I had had many moments of sadness, anger, pure joy, and a little shock thrown in. Many times I just sat and stared trying to take a mental picture to remember. Danny, Toto, and Woody running around chasing a remote control helicopter in the driveway. All of us eating an American feast together, laughing, teasing Omega over how many dishes he had to wash later. Because when Mama Leann cooks, she uses every single pot, pan, and dish. Riann doing ballet in her new princess skirt. Magdaline crying because she got make up instead of a Olson's twin movie. Nerry jumping up in down because he made a goal.
I wonder what next Christmas will look like. I am both excited and a little scared of what this year will hold. But I do know one thing. One thing that never changes, is that things change. So I hope this year I will enjoy the good moments more and continue to hold strong through the hard moments.
God is good. His mercies are new every morning. And I know that I am safely in His hand. Thank God for that! With Him, I have the strength, courage, and vision to keep on.

Here's a video of us celebrating Christmas this year:

Feeding

2011-12-24T19:06:00.000-08:00

This year Riann received a baby doll that you can feed a bottle with and it will actually cry real tears, say Mama, and laugh. She LOVES it! Early today I was getting the Christmas feast going and the 'baby' kept crying. Riann was starting to get upset and asked me to help.

I told Riann that she should feed the baby, to go find the bottle and feed her baby. A few minutes later I heard Danny laughing. He came in the kitchen and said, 'Do you know what your daughter is doing? She unbuttoned her dress, pulled it down, and is feeding the baby.'
With both Loudrige breastfeeding Djovandy and me only breastfeeding Joseph, that's how she sees Mama's feeding their babies. LoL!! That's my girl!!

Collatoral Damage

2011-12-23T16:13:00.000-08:00

You see, I often write of the past. There is a line between living in the past, dwelling too much of the past, and learning from the past. I believe learning history actually makes us better people. Although I HATED History in school, I have learned to have a respect for history as I have aged. I say often, hind sight is always 20/20.

I look back on many different situations I have found myself in. I look at the many injustices that occur each day. I listen to the stories of the inmates in prison week in and week out. I hear about murders, rapist, thieves, and such. I have witnessed Church splits. I have seen divorce, death, and destruction first hand. I have seen a person attack another, and been attacked by individuals.

I look back this past year in my own life’s experiences. I replay the anger and the hurt of the attacks on me and my family, and I realize this simple truth. When all the aggressive measures were taken against me, I don’t believe it was the intent to hurt all the people it ended up hurting. I believe they wanted to hurt me directly, but in the process they wounded the people around me the most. In war we call that collateral damage, and since when has it been ok that we don’t take this into account before beginning or following through the attack? I don’t believe it was their intent to wound those around me, but when deciding to take action, how could they have not known those around me would be most wounded? How can they not count the cost?

Being sued three different times in a two months stretch, eventually with the right influence you will find someone that will side with you, no matter how wrong you are. Being put in prison for over five months. Taking away the land, the vehicles, the money, trying at great lengths to discredit me, lying to supporting Churches and individuals. But who did it really hurt?

The judge was disbarred and fired from his job.
The scholarship program left unsupported, with not even a days notice before school started. Over 30 students lost the chance to attend high school; for some this will have a forever impact.
Staff members fired without any notice, any reason, and any compensation. One died of cholera, leaving behind a husband and a new infant, what is going to become of them?
Churches and schools abandoned by their founding organization.
Orphans and children, that once considered you family, trusted you with their hearts. Loved you; you turned your back on.
Mentors, friends, team members that made promises, never heard from again.
Comments from unbelievers; leaders in other aide organizations, businesses, and government, questioning why I would still believe in a God when fellow Christians are the ones that did everything they could to destroy me?

Who did this hurt the most? Who did it most affect? Was it worth it? Do you legally even own the entire land now? Do you even legally own the vehicles now? Why couldn’t we just talk? Why couldn't you stick to your word? Can we talk now?

Seeing the deep wounds that Leann still carries daily from the lost friendship, the betrayal. Seeing the hurt on my kids faces as we drive by the land that was once promised to them, by people they trusted, they loved. Yes I was hurt in this, but I don’t think it compares to the hurt Leann has endured. The hurt my kids have endured. The hurt our Haitian community have endured. And more then that the damage to the cause, winning men and women to Christ.

I share this for one purpose, as I think this applies to each one of us. When we make decisions, when we lash out in anger and hurt. When we write that letter, send that e-mail. Who are you wanting to affect? Who are you actually hurting?

When a mom and dad go through a messy divorce does the words and actions by us adults hurt each other more or the kids we mutually love? When the Church splits, do the leaders fighting get hurt more or the believers and their followers? Who do you want to hurt and who actually gets hurt are often two different areas. Think about that…I know this has change my view and made me much more cautious, and I hope it does the same to you.

-DP

Joseph Daniel

2011-12-18T20:23:00.000-08:00

So this is kinda a crazy God story that some of you will just nod your heads and think I'm crazy and others will just think I'm crazy and nod your heads. However, I think it's a cool story about God and how he cares about the little things.
When *crap* hit the fan after being taken to court last year and Danny was arrested I was pregnant. I was about 3-4 months along and we did not know the sex of the baby yet. Well, pretty much every letter Danny sent me urging me find out and that was something I didn't want to do without him. Nevertheless I wanted to try to keep him focused on something good. I wanted to talk names. One night in November I had a dream, God was telling me to name our baby Joseph Daniel. Well, I brushed it off. However I was talking to some friends, Jennifer and Jon, and told them about later that day. But I said that Danny would never go for it because he doesn't want his own name in it. He wouldn't like Daniel as a middle name, it was something we thought about with Jabez and Danny wasn't really for the whole 'junior' thing.

The next visitation day our friend, Jon, came with me. I waited in the courtyard for them to escort the prisoners down. After our first kiss I jokingly told Danny that God had told me what to name our baby, but he wouldn't be for it. Danny said to me, 'I have a thought for a name too. I was thinking we should name the baby Joseph Daniel if it's a boy.' I was floored and then whipped around to Jon and said, 'I told you to not to say anything!' Jon denied it and Danny conformed it. Danny felt that this was what God wanted us to name our child. From that moment I knew it was a boy and his name was going to be Joseph Daniel.
I still didn't get an ultrasound to find out the sex. Nevertheless, I forgot to tell the guy doing the ultrasound my decision. So in January this conversation happened:
Dr Jim (during the ultrasound): "Everything looks good Leann. His head is a great size, He looks healthy. He has a great heartbeat. Oh did you want to know the sex?'
Dr. Teresa (who was holding my hand): 'Ummm, no she didn't'
Leann: 'Oh, well. I knew it was a boy anyways.'
The very next day I returned with pictures of the 'goods'. This picture was taken by Bart right after I told Danny the news. He was so excited. We were both crying from the joy of the moment.

Danny was released on March 15th and came to the States on March 17th. Joseph Daniel was born

on March 20th. It was a miracle from God. God has huge plans for Joseph's future!

Huh?

2011-12-01T12:15:00.000-08:00

Dav was crawling under the coffee table to get a toy when he hit his face against the leg. He immediately started crying. I picked him up and he was holding his hand over his eye. As I was trying to look at his eye Riann came running up.
R: 'Momma, what happened?'
M: 'Dav hit his eye when he was under the table.'
R: 'Oh Dav. I'm sorry. I know what you need!'
Then runs out of the room and I hear her going in the frig. She comes back and puts a piece of cheese on his face.
M: 'Riann, what's with the cheese.'
R: 'It's cold. And when he's done he can eat it.'
Dav, distracted by food, stops crying and then eats the cheese perfectly fine.
Nice job Riann!

Bibles for Prison

2011-11-28T06:53:00.000-08:00

Please pray about helping us with Bibles for the Jacmel prisoners!!

We have a few outreaches scheduled for December. One thing we always do with our kids is pick a community and serve in December. Our kids celebrate Christmas well. We have a great time, great party, blessed with gifts, so we always take the time and help someone else. Trying to keep the focus on the true meaning of Christmas and not get carried away with the receiving gifts aspect. This year we are doing a Prison outreach. Some may say not a good idea, since what brought our kids so much pain was that same prison. Nevertheless we decided this is where we want to focus our efforts. So the plans have been made and funds had been raised. A generous friend and supporter funded the meal for that day for all the inmates, another supporting Church is raising funds for the “gift” (tooth brush, tooth paste, soap, deodorant, shampoo, and package of cookies). And yet another Church committed funds to purchase the Bibles. This is where I need your help.

I spent a month finding a deal on buying 500 Bibles. I checked with several missionaries, and couldn’t find the entire Bible in Haitian Creole, OT/NT for under $8.00 USD. My Pastor went to Port as well to check and he found a deal. Each Bible was $3.00 each and it was in Creole not French!! Too good to be true!! So we quickly ordered the Bibles, and sent the money within a few days. The Church sent $1,500.00 for the Bibles. Well late Friday night ALL 500 Bibles were delivered to our home!! But the price we were quoted was wrong. We were quoted for a specific organization that someone subsidized Bibles for, NOT US. So they gave me the best discount they could, since it was their fault but that still leaves me with the balance of an additional $3.90 USD for each Bible, or a total of $1,950.00 USD. So I have to decide now to send a lot of Bibles back or pay the balance.

With the end of the year upon us, Christmas, end of year bonus for our employees (mandate by Haitian law), the several planned outreaches, including a hospital outreach, prison outreach, end of year party for staff, family, and friends, church conference, and New Year’s party at the Church (Haiti’s independence day), funds are too tight to take on this added expense on our own.

Please consider helping us with this specific need. Please help us buy

Bibles for Jacmel's prison inmates.
Over 80 men accepted Christ this past year, and ALL of them have

no access to the written word. Please help us change that!!

Please pray!! Please give!! Thanks!!

To give please click here: I want to help!

Danny with the boxes of Bibles and Michelet, one of the men who

came to the Lord during Danny's imprisonment

Conflict

2011-11-25T10:00:00.000-08:00

How do you solve problems? How do you confront someone or something? How do you deal with someone that has wronged you? How do you address a hurt, a misunderstanding, a misinterpretation? Is your first reaction anger? Is your first reaction distrust? Are you acting as the accuser, the judge, the jury? Are you quick to bring someone to court? Are you quick to gossip or slander the individual? Are you ‘venting’ your issues with the person with EVERYONE except the individual you should be? Or are you willing to sit, face to face, man to man, and discuss the differences, the hurts, and the rumors? Are you quick to believe hear say, or do you ask questions to both parties involved? Are you quick to side with one person over another? And when you discover the truth, or see the ongoing inconsistencies, are you willing to go back, and apologize? Own your mistakes?

I believe these are HUGE issues, more so in the ‘Christian’ community than anywhere else. Yes I am standing on my soap box preaching, but know this is something that I struggle with, and am learning about, just as much as anyone else.

I was on date night last week, and Leann and I were talking as we often to about the future, the past, the lessons learned, the continuing grieving the loss of friendships, relationships. Questioning where we made the mistakes, who we trusted too much, too fast, etc. She made an analogy that I can’t get out of my mind. And I think we can all relate to it in someway, I want to share it with you to challenge you, to think about how you deal with conflict with issues.

“It is like your child is locked in the room, and you can’t get in. You have the key to the door in your hand, but in panic, in anger, in self-protection, you pick up a sledge hammer and start going at the cement wall. Instead of opening the door with your key, instead of hitting down a easily destructible wooden door, you choose to take the most destructive, the most damaging, the most difficult, path into the room, by knocking away the cement wall.”

Today, how are you dealing with conflict? How are you dealing with hurt? How are you confronting a person? Is there a different method you can use that would be more constructive? More Biblical? More honoring? More respectful? More relationship
building?

Matthew 18:15-20
15 “If your brother or sister[a] sins,[b] go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’[c] 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
18 “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be[d] bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be[e] loosed in heaven.
19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

Think about that…

In addition, I am writing a blog on ‘collateral damage’ because in ‘hammering through the wall with a sledge’ you are much more apt to get hurt and hurt other people, maybe even unintentially hurt others in the meantime.

-DP

Happy Thanksgiving-2011

2011-11-24T04:04:00.000-08:00

    As I reflect on the updates I have sent out over the years, I realize they are more focused on the needs, the requests, the concerns, the trials, the stories, and I don’t take near enough time to say ‘thank you’. So I wanted today to be about just that.

     Despite not celebrating Thanksgiving as a holiday in Haiti, in discussions with our staff, and kids during family devotions, we all recognized the great need we all have, all over the World to stop and be thankful. This is a need that we should practice much more than just annually at Thanksgiving. But as an American, I have enjoyed Thanksgiving. Not just because of the good food, although that has always been a plus. But in my family growing up, taking the time before the meal just to say what we are thankful for. It is life breathing reflecting on the many things we have to be thankful for and how blessed we truly are. Too often it is easy, and maybe natural, to focus on the hardships, the trials, the failures. But today, it’s all about Thanking God and others for the abundant blessings we have been given.

     I am NOT ignorant to the many trials you have faced this year. The economy across the globe has taken a toll on everyone. Every business, every family, every Church, every individual. I am not ignorant to the great sacrifice you have made on our behalf to support us in our hardest year. And we want to simply say thank you. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Thank you for giving, thank you for praying, thank you for caring. You are responsible for saving a life, both physically and spiritually, because of your prayers, and faithful giving, it has allowed our ministry to continue. Our family to stay together. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Here is a video from our home to yours:

Helping Sandi-The End

2011-11-22T20:11:00.000-08:00

Many stories we tell have happy endings and sometimes we hold back the stories with the not so happy endings. Well this time I opted to not hold back. There is a lot of pressure serving in Haiti. Not a day goes by where we don’t field a half to a dozen credible requests. Some of them come to our home, and many of them we see in the market, on the street, in our Church, or in our schools. We have to decide who we can help, how we can help, how much help we can offer. We do this by relying solely on God. Praying daily for wisdom and discernment, praying about situations as they arise. We do this also by surrounding ourselves with Haitian friends, Haitian leaders, and Haitian pastors to help advise us. Even with all that, it is still difficult sometimes, maybe even all the times. My heart breaks when I say no, turning down a child for a home, turning down a student for tuition assistance, turning down a medical request from a sick mother, turning down a request from an administer to assist their school, and the list goes on.
I mentioned Sandi, a young women who came to stay with us, Sunday night. Well we spent the entire morning on Monday driving ALL OVER Jacmel trying to find her family, with no success. Anise and Frantzo took her to Benite Socialle for them to sign off and find placement. However during her interview she became very angry. She did not want them to confirm her whereabouts in the tent city in Port-au-Prince, refused to take the HIV test and physiological exam; all part of the standard process when placing a child. As heartbreaking as this reality is, we had no choice but to send her back to Port-au-Prince. We fed her another meal, gave her money for transportation and food, and dropped her off at the bus station. A sad ending, but wishing her the best. We prayed for her that night during devotions.
It is not how we thought it would end, nevertheless, she is in God's hands. It hurts, but we can't help everyone.

Blessings

2011-11-22T05:51:00.000-08:00

In the hard times, the easy times, the sad times, and the happy times, one thing remains the same. I am blessed!! I woke up this morning, healthy with all my limbs attached. I woke up this morning in my own bed, in my own home. I woke this morning exactly where I want to be, where I need to be, where I have been called to be. My wife perfect in almost every way, sleeps soundly. Beautiful kids that call me Daddy, employees depending on me to make the right decisions, a community in need of so much help but even more they need a Savior. There is so much hurt, so many wounds, I am but a flawed man, yet a Blessed Man in deed!!

Today, I am thankful that God has chosen to bless me so richly, that even despite of myself, I am blessed, I am blessed. Blessed to have a wife that loves me, that is committed to me, blessed to have kids that love me, that respect and obey me. Blessed to have staff that are kind and compassionate with my family and are my friends. Blessed to have a Spirit filled Church hungry to know more about God, and to serve Him more each day. Blessed to have an earthly dad who cares, that is proud of who I am, and what I have become. Blessed to have brothers and sister that selflessly support us, even in the midst of their own hardships. I am blessed, I am blessed. And even if I lose this all, I will still be a blessed man. I have a Heavenly Father that loves me unconditionally; in all my mistakes, and insufficiencies, He is sufficient!! I am blessed!!

Take some time today to reflect on how the Lord has blessed you. Too often it is easy to focus on the hardships, the losses, the hurt, the anger, the bitterness. Take some time today, to remember the blessings. I know for me the blessings FAR out way the losses!! I hope that is the same for you.

-DP

Choosing Between a Rock and Hard Place

2011-11-22T05:10:00.000-08:00

In Haiti one of the most difficult things, for me at least, is each day you make choices, choices to help, choices not to help, yes or no. These questions often affect the future of an individual. Sometimes even life or death. You have to find a balance.

How will my decision effect my family, effect my ministry, effect our finances?
Is this something God is calling us to do?
Is this part of our vision or taking us away from our vision?
Are there other people that can help?

These questions are sometimes impossible and by far the most challenging part of being in ministry in Haiti. I was sharing with other missionaries, that completely got this, just last week. Too often the choices in Haiti are between bad and horrible. I don’t often get to see the ‘ideal’ situation. In the USA a lot of our choices are clear, good and bad. That is not the case in Haiti. Daily we choose between a bad situation and a horrible one. Trying to minimize the hurt and trying to choose the “better”, which is hardly ever the best. I am not sure I am making much sense, but just wanted to put these thoughts out there.

An former employee of ours, a security agent when we were running the airport right after the earthquake, came to our home last week asking for help for his kids in school. I told him I didn’t have the funds to help him, but I would inquire since we have a program to support students in various schools in Jacmel. I needed to talk to Frantzo who overseas that program. I would inquire to see if there was any more space. I figured there was none and made it clear that I could not make any promises, but I told him I would call him within a week. Well he came to my house every day, several times a day on most days. Asking and begging for help. Finally Monday morning, I went out after getting the reports from Frantzo earlier that morning. I realized that not only do we not have space but we have once again said yes to more students than we had committed funds to sponsor. So I went to the gate, where he waited for me, to tell him no. Well a man twice the size of me became hysterical, yelling and screaming. He insisted I owed him money for transportation to and from my house every day, even though I reminded him the one time he asked for money for a taxi I immediately gave it to him. It didn’t calm him down. He stood outside our home for the next three hours, yelling and ranting about us not paying the school. Neighbors started to come out in question. I again went to our gate in efforts to calm him down, reminded him that I did not ask him to come to my house, in fact I committed to calling him, so I was not responsible for the money he spent coming back and forth.
It was a sad situation. I wish I didn’t have to say no, especially when it comes to kids and an education, but it is our reality, and always has been. If we said yes to every request that came to our gate, we would be broke before the months end. We do our best each and every day to help those we can, and at the end of the night we focus on the good we were part of that day, pushing aside the no’s.
Nevertheless, it is exhausting and draining in body and spirit. I remind myself that Jesus Himself did not heal every single sick person in a town. He stayed focused on his vision that God had given Him. All the way to death on a cross. I look to His life and how He dealt with the constant need and I see prayer, prayer, and prayer.
Please pray for us. Pray for wisdom, strength, and that we will always keep our gates open to hear the needs even when want to just hide. Pray that God will continue to fill us so we are never hardened to the needs around us.

-DP

Helping Sandi

2011-11-20T18:46:00.000-08:00

First Noel, then Omega, and finally Evens came and asked me to meet this young woman at our gate who needed some help. I made the 'mistake' to go personally to the gate and meet this orphan. A 19 year old girl who lost her mom, dad, brothers, and sister in the earthquake almost two years ago. She has been living in one of the tent cities in Port-au-Prince alone, living off of the daily distributions NGO's were offering. Today everyone was kicked out and the tent city closed. Despite the promise to build homes, nothing was offered to the thousands of residence, many who are now homeless and some of them orphaned. Sandi caught a ride to Jacmel early this morning, with the faint memory of an aunt she visited at age 10. She spent the day, with no success going from street to street trying to remember the area in which her Aunt lived. Nothing. She went to our Haitian Pastor's house, then to our house, searching for a place to sleep. After an hour of discussion, Frantzo came over to help advise us what we could do. We decided to offer her a place to sleep tonight, a hot meal, and a cold drink. Tomorrow we hope to help her search for her family. If we can't find them then a visit to Benite Socialle and to the police station to fill a report. A sad story, as she was in her last two years of High school, Rheto and Philo. She lost literally everything. Everyone. Please pray for wisdom, discernment, favor, and help with finding her family. Please pray...Thanks!

The Battle

2011-11-19T12:37:00.000-08:00

Ephesians 6:11-13

¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

As many of you have heard, there have been a string of robberies against Christian ministries in the Jacmel area. A group of armed men break into homes, literally thru metal doors and windows, and at gun point demand money, electronics, and valuables. It is shocking to Danny and I, who have lived in Jacmel for over 7 years, to have this recent upheaval in our town. Our home in Haiti has always been a quiet town with little violence. We are angry, upset, and scared.

I was praying several days ago, asking God for peace, wisdom, and the strength if and when this happens to us. And God showed me this verse in Ephesians. We all know it, most of us have probably memorized it. And I knew that God was showing me that this was not about armed gunmen. This was much more than that. That was just the venue that the devil was using to attack our faith, courage, and vision for Haiti. And as I hear of more missionaries leaving the Jacmel area because of these robberies. Even those of us that are staying, we are being encouraged to not get together for Bible Study, Thanksgiving, or other events. Fearful that they might find more targets from such gatherings. I am saddened, angry, and upset. Nevertheless, I also realize that this was just another tactic of the devil and his vision for Haiti. He loves it when we are too afraid to gather for Bible Study. Too angry to pray for these men or pray for bad things to happen to them. Too afraid for our children and families and whether or not they will be victims to this violation. As ministries start shutting down and hatred for what Haitians are doing to us Americans that are just here to help growing. I strongly believe he is loving this fear, disunity, and anger.

So now I read this verse every day when I start to become overwhelmed with fear and anger. And I realize that God has already told me what to do. "Put on the full of armor of God." Because I believe that this is new face on an old battle. Yes, we've never had a problem with robberies in Jacmel before. But we are constantly battling selfishness, hatred, lying, stealing, and many other sins. Every day I fight against voodoo beliefs, dangerous 'old wives tales', and misrepresentation of God's word. Sometimes they look like a slave child that has been beaten or an employee who skims off some money or chasing away a pervert in the ocean who is trying to touch one of our kids or having a discussion in devotions on a sermon on the prosperity gospel that was given that Sunday. I need to put on the Armor of God to stand up under these latest attacks against our faith, ministry, and home.

Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. ¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. ¹⁹ Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, ²⁰ for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should. "

Until these men are caught, it is a matter of time before our house is next. I ask that you pray for us. Pray that we will be fearless and calm in the face of evil when it comes. Pray for our children, that no one will be hurt. Pray for Danny and I's spirit, for our hearts thru this time.
Most of all pray for these men, who are mere puppets in so many ways. I strongly believe that the devil is enjoying this and is behind it all. I pray for a Paul conversion on these men. That when they are going along a road one night to someone's house, that Jesus Himself will speak to these men. And they will be blinded and broken by God. And in this brokenness, God will speak to their hearts. And they will become advocates for God in this country that is so dark.

And lastly, I pray for our spirits, hearts, and bodies for the day after when we are hit. That we will be strong in our faith, looking to God in our brokenness.

Please pray for us. Pray with us. Thank You.

Videos from the House

2011-11-16T17:25:00.000-08:00

Here are some recent videos taken from the house.

Haitian Church Pt 1

2011-11-07T08:29:00.000-08:00

Since my family and I run the children's program at our church we take one Sunday off every month to worship down stairs. {A huge problem for missionaries is they serve, serve, serve and never actually worship or listen to a message at church.} The first Sunday of every month we 'force' our family to sit together and 'do' church. It's like pulling teeth sometimes to get my teenagers off the back row and sit in the same row as Danny and I. But it's important to us.

Anyways, I love our church. I love worshipping with my family, friends, and siblings in Christ. If you ever get a chance to worship with us, it's loud. We have keyboard, drums, bass guitar, electric guitar, trumpet, and sometimes a sax or tuba. It's impossible not to sway or clap. It's impossible for me to not smile. It's impossible to not feel the presence of God.

In some ways I'm still a 'blanc' and love to watch people in church. One thing that I love is many times if someone comes in late (which is most people) they rarely just 'jump' into worship. Many times they will do one of two things. They will kneel on the ground, placing their heads in their chair, and pray for a few minutes. In this time they prepare their hearts. Other times they will face a wall and start singing with the congregation. Hands high, eyes closed, heart open, singing loudly to God. They close off everyone else and focus on God.

Haitian worship is beautiful to watch and convicting to me personally. I learn so much about God thru them. How many times have I just started singing, not preparing my heart or soul? How many times have I been more focused on singing well instead of who I am singing to? How many times have I been so focused on God that everything else is oblivious?

Not enough, that's for sure.

Baby Dave

2011-11-05T19:08:00.000-07:00

So we were at the beach a good chunk of the day today and by time we came home we were exhausted. So I put Dave in his bed, even though he was tired, he screamed for the next 10 minutes until one of my kids let him out. He continued to cry while walking thru the house. I knew that he was very tired, so I told him to come lay down with me.
He started crawling into bed and fell asleep before fulling climbing in. I'm talking seconds.

One foot still on the floor, arm twisted up, mouth wide open, and drool all over.

I love this kid! He didn't even wake up when I moved him.

Convicting Video

2011-11-05T13:51:00.000-07:00

I was watching this video and it was so convicting to me personally.

As someone that struggles with anger, bitterness, and a bruised heart, this convicted me. It was like God came to me and said, 'Hey Leann. You've been betrayed by those closest to you...so have I. You've been slandered and lied about...so have I. You've cried out to God to change this path He's chosen for you...so have I. I understand your pain, your anger, and your bitterness. Nevertheless, what you have gone thru is but a sliver of the cross I have carried. And I forgave them. I let God be the judge. If I can, so can you.'

And so must I.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:31-3

I mean, there is no if, ands, and buts with that verse!

Just Like Jesus

2011-11-01T15:05:00.000-07:00

As many of you know Danny and I just finished a huge road trip visiting dozens of churches and even more pastors, almost all of them for the first time. We spent days with many of them and very much enjoyed learning from other pastors about how they minister, serve, and change their own communities. This blog post is about one of them that changed my perspective and reminded me of Jesus.

Couple months ago this pastor, Pastor Michael, was doing a sermon series on God. He was talking about when God has a hold on your life He changes you, imprints on you, marks you. Even when you turn away, that imprint is still there. It does not go away. God changes something in you forever, that you can’t erase. It’s permanent. Sounds exciting, huh?!?! Did I mention that he did this sermon while getting a physical permanent print, a tattoo, while preaching? Nothing like going to church and the pastor is getting a tattoo and preaching about God.

Now, I am not a fan of tattoos personally. Honestly I don’t see the point in paying someone lots of money to stick you with a needle hundreds of times. And I think that one thing might look kool now, but when I’m 40 years old or 60 or 100…probably won’t. Culture changes, skin stretches, ink fades. I’ve never seen a tattoo on a senior citizen that I liked.

Nevertheless, I like the parallel of taking something spiritual and hard to grasp to something physical and easy to see. However, because of this one sermon Pastor Michael has bombarded with death threats, verbally abused while food shopping, and mocked on Christian radio. Even months later, while we were there, he received a death threat in the church’s mailbox signed by another pastor.

We spent several days with this senior pastor and his family. I could not help but see Jesus in their actions, responses, and how they dealt with daily persecution from other churches and ‘Christians’. This church’s main goal was reaching the ‘untouchables’. The ones that got funny looks and wide berths. The ones with tattoos, piercings, and questionable language. And because of this path his family and mostly himself have received death threats, harassment, and verbal abuse. Because of the path that God had him walk, he was despised by other pastors and ‘Christians’. Because he had chosen to hang out and reach the ones on the far left, the outsiders, he himself was shunned by other believers. Sound familiar?

Now, I’m not going to go out and get a tattoo from all this. But it made me think. Because of this sermon he was able to reach thousands of those ‘outsiders’. Ones that wouldn’t think to walk near a church, came to hear him talk about God. Because of this act, 9 people came to Christ. It reminded me of Paul’s words, ‘When I talked with the Jews, I was a Jew. When I talked with someone under the law, I was under the law. When I talked to the Greeks, I was a Greek.’ Paul became whom he was talking to so they would actually hear them.

It made me look at my own life in two ways. One, who I am reaching I need to let go of my pride and comfort and become. I shouldn’t expect people to come to me and my level or even meet me half way. That is God’s thing to move and change people. I need to be willing to step out of my comfort zone and just love people. Second, I need not to judge others so quickly. It’s so easy to though. Look at someone’s appearance and think they are too far out. Come to the conclusion they won’t listen or even be interested. That’s not my job. My job is to be a vessel, an empty jar for God to use how He sees fit. It is sad to say that I am like those pastors that harassed and judged then the pastor that stepped out and did something a little crazy for God’s kingdom.

Father, help me be a vessel for you. Help me to be an arrow that points to You. Help me to not judge so quickly. Help me to humble myself and put down my pride to do things that might make me feel uncomfortable for Your glory. Thank you Father.

For more info on Pastor Michael you can go here:

http://michaelrobison.tv/taboo-tattoos/

http://michaelrobison.tv/tattoos-and-changed-lives/

Church on October 30

2011-10-31T05:40:00.000-07:00

I have been doing children's church in our church for a couple years now. Honestly, I cannot remember not doing it since our move to Jacmel. It changes from being a blast to a burden to a blast again, depending on what's on my schedule and how tired I am. We have had up to 150 children, which is crazy amount. Nevertheless, since our church has gone to 2 service, I only do it the first service when my family is attending church. And 7 AM service is early for most Haitians. So children's church is now about 40 children. However I love that number. Usually it's Omega and I that do it all. Worship, games, story, craft, and memory verse. Mdm Placide has started to help me to with the younger children. It's been a stretching experience diving into God's word and writing out lessons.

This sunday we read about Jesus being tempted. How when the devil came to Jesus to tempt him, Jesus always responded with 'It is written...' Jesus used God's word, not His own wit. This is the reason that we memorize Bible verses, so when we are tempted, scared, angry, upset God's word is in us. We made necklaces with glow in the dark beads, which is a treat. We memorized Psalms 119:105.

Even though I speak Creole very well, I always do the story in English and have Omega translate. I do this for two reasons. One, it helps Omega to translate better by doing it every Sunday. He learns more English words and phrases. Two, I don't know how to correctly pronounce names and places in Creole. So it's a win, win. It's so important to me that the children 'get' something tangible from the lesson and not for me to try to get them to understand my Creole.

Then we played Red light, green light until an elder from church came and asked us to stop. All of the jumping and stomping was making the people scared downstairs. So than we played 'copy me' however, the kids were getting too excited and jumping around again. So we played '4 Corners'. Honestly, it was a good day. We all had fun. I tested them to see if any remembered the memory verse and most of them did. I pray that they learned the importance of God's word and memorizing it.

At devotions with our kids we talked about what we learned in church. Tina, Vania, and Slandia, the only kids of mine that attend children's church, still remembered the verse. I asked what Pastor had preached on today and was surprised by the answer. In fact you will never guess it, seriously. He talked about the dangers of facebook. I know you think it's odd to talk about facebook in a 3rd world country. However, with Internet cafes everywhere most Haitian youth I know have a facebook profile. It has truly made the world smaller. They are able to easily share pictures and keep in touch with team members, friends, and foreigners. Anyway, there has been this popular Haitian movie that has been going around about this Haitian man that lures young Haitian women to his home via facebook. He then rapes and kills them. Haitian version of Criminal Minds. Pastor talked about how we need to be careful about who we talk with, what we say. How it is wrong for men to look for women and fall in love via facebook. It was a very interesting conversation. It still boggles my mind that our church in Haiti talked about facebook. Nevertheless, I even saw this billboard in PAP about President Martelly's school program. And on the bottom was 'like us on facebook at'. It's not just in the USA. It made me smile at the absurdness of it next to a tent city.

We finished the night with a birthday. We celebrated Chachoue's birthday. She is growing up so quickly. She has grown into a beautiful young woman. It was a great ending to a great day.

So that was my Sunday. What did you do?

Tough Cookies

2011-10-26T13:36:00.000-07:00

I am finally home. After being on the road with Danny, the kids, and for a few weeks, my Mom. I am home. We drove almost 7,000 miles all the way up to MN down to TX and then back to FL. It was a great 8 weeks visiting churches, sharing stories, laughing, and of course eating. I am over 120 pounds, which to most anyone is not a lot, but I have never been over 110 pounds without being pregnant. So that is the only downfall. But I enjoyed every single bite! LoL!

Anyways, I regress. There are two hard things about support raising. The first one is obvious, asking for money. Danny and I love talking about our life and our kids, but always stumble over the numbers and answering the question, 'how much do you need?'. It's a little bit of pride struggle, but it's unfortunately necessity for all missionaries.
But another hard thing for us is talking about our kids. Because for people to connect with our kids, they need to hear about the before. It's not enough to just see a happy, healthy child going to school. They need to know what they overcame to get to that point. It's something that Danny and I struggle with. What to share and what to keep. What to be made public and what should be kept private. Because in the end, they are our kids. And in our house we don't focus on the past, what happened before. We focus on the now and more importantly the tomorrow. Who are you now and what do you want to do when you leave.

Good person, stupid person, lazy, busy, hard working, good mom, a dad who is present, etc. I don't want them to be known as the one that was a slave, the one that almost died, the one that was sold, the one that was abused. Because they are more than that. They are more than who they were and I think it is unhealthy and detrimental to them to focus on who they were.
I made a great video about Magdaline a couple years ago. About where she came from and how she is now this beautiful young woman. It was made for Americans to see, to help raise support. One day a few months ago, the kids found a DVD that had this on it. They watched it and it was difficult for me to watch Magdaline watch this video. She understood most of it. Maybe it was healthy for her to see it. She had many questions because she doesn't remember a lot of her life before.

I understand it's a catch 22. I hope to make another video about our kids, but this time about their dreams, hopes, and future plans. I think it's important for them and for me. And it's important for supporters to see that there is hope in Haiti. You know you always hear it, but it's true...Children are the future.

Forgiveness

2011-10-12T09:53:00.000-07:00

This is another blog I wrote in Prison around January 2011, 2 ½ months before I was released. I again choose not to edit it, it was something God brought me through using a book I read, and scripture, and it has forever changed my perspective on Forgiveness. This brought me to write letters of forgiveness to many people that have deeply wounded me and were responsible for my imprisonment. Some I have given, some I have not yet. One letter was to a prison guard responsible for the death of a friend, and made efforts to make my imprisonment more difficult. Through this letter, I witnessed restoration of relationships, and salvation of a prison guard!! God is good. There is power in forgiveness, more for the one forgiving often, but power nevertheless. Enjoy:

FORGIVENESS

There is a book that I read and strongly recommend it to anyone and everyone. The Shack, By William Paul Young. It helped me a lot as I wrestled in my own anger towards God and towards man. As I wrestled in the grief of losing loved ones, mainly my son Jabez, as I wrestled with the justices and injustices of the World, as I wrestled with God, in prison. It has forever changed my perspective, and changed my life.

I want to "steal" (or copy) a conversation a man has with God while in his own pain, is wresting with God over the idea of forgiveness. This is one of the many things that God is really currently working on me. I hope this helps anyone struggling with forgiveness, as it has helped me. Again, it simply is a conversation, "stolen" (copied) from this book, and it is just part, as I really don't want to ruin this book, for anyone who has yet to read it. In this book the man refers to God as Papa, it is beautiful, but I will stop now, in fear that I will carry on for eternity.

Another note, as I copied directly from the text of the book, there is some "harsh" language, not intended to offend anyone, I felt it was real, and honest enough that I felt the need to leave it in. Please take whatever precaution you need, knowing the below texts contains some "harsh" language.

MAN: "Papa, how can I ever forgive that son of a bitch who..."

GOD: "...for you to forgive this man is for you to release him to me and allow me to redeem him."

MAN: "Redeem him?"..."I don't want you to redeem him! I want you to hurt him, to punish him, to put him in hell"...

MAN: ..."I'm stuck, Papa. I can't just forget what he did, can I?"...

GOD: "Forgiveness is not about forgetting,"..."It is about letting go of another person's throat."

MAN: "But I thought you forgot our sins."

GOD: ..."I am God. I forgot nothing. I know everything. So forgetting for me is the choice to limit myself."...

GOD: ..."because of Jesus, there is now no law demanding that I bring your sins back to mind. They are gone when it comes to you and me, and they run no interference in our relationship."

MAN: "But this man..."

GOD: "But he too is my son. I want to redeem him."

MAN: "So what then? I just forgive him and everything is okay, and we become buddies?"...

GOD: "You don't have a relationship with this man, at least not yet. Forgiveness does not establish relationship. In Jesus I have forgiven all humans for their sins against me, but only some choose relationship..."

GOD: ..."don't you see that forgiveness is an incredible power -- a power you share with us, a power Jesus gives to all he indwells so that reconciliation can grow? When Jesus forgave those who nailed him to the cross, they were no longer in his debt, nor mine. In my relationship with those men, I will never bring up what they did or shame or embarrass them."

MAN: "I don't think I can do this"...

GOD: "I want you to. Forgiveness is first for you, the forgiver," ... "to release you from something that will eat you alive, that will destroy your joy and your ability to love fully and openly. Do you think this man cares about the pain and torment you have gone through? If anything, he feeds on that knowledge. Don't you want to cut that off? And in doing so, you'll release him from a burden that he carries whether he knows it or not--acknowledges it or not. When you choose to forgive another, you love him well."

MAN: "I do not love him."

GOD: "Not today, you don't. But I do,"... "not for what he's become, but for the broken child that has been twisted by his pain. I want to help you take on the nature that find's more power in love and forgiveness than hate."

MAN: "So does that mean"... ..."that if I forgive this man, then I let him play with..." (my children and my grandchildren)?

GOD: ..."I already told you that forgiveness does not create a relationship. Unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their minds and behavior; a relationship of trust is not possible. When you forgive someone you certainly release him from judgement, but without true change, no real relationship can be established."

MAN: "So forgiveness does not require me to pretend what he did never happened?"

GOD: "How can you? You forgave..." "Will you ever forget what he did to you?"

MAN: "I don't think so."

GOD: "But now you can love him in the face of it, His change allows for that. Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive. But should he finally confess and repent, you will discover a miracle in your own heart that allows you to reach out and begin to build between you a bridge or reconciliation. And sometimes--and this may seem incomprehensible to you right now--that road may even take you to a miracle of fully restored trust."

MAN: ..."Papa, I think I understand what you're saying. But it feels like if I forgive this guy he gets off free. How do I excuse what he did? Is it fair to"..."if I don't stay angry with him?"

GOD: ..."forgiveness does not excuse anything. Believe me, the last thing this man is, is free. And you have no duty to justice in this. I will handle that."...

GOD: ...."Because of my presence in" (you)..."That is the only way true forgiveness is ever possible."

MAN: ..."Help me, Papa. Help me! What do I do? How do I forgive him?"

GOD: "Tell him."

MAN: ......"How, Papa?"

GOD: "Just say it out loud. There is power in what my children declare."

MAN: ..."{began to whisper in tones at first halfhearted and stumbling, but then with increasing conviction,}" "I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you."

MAN: ........."So is it all right if I'm still angry?"

GOD: ..."Absolutely! What he did was terrible. He caused incredible pain to many. It was wrong, and anger is the right response to something that is so wrong. But don't let the anger and pain and loss you feel prevent you from forgiving him and removing your hands from around his neck."

GOD: ..."Son, you may have to declare your forgiveness a hundred times the first day and the second day, but the third day will be less and each day after, until one day you will realize that you have forgiven completely. And then one day you will pray for his wholeness and give him over to me so that my love will burn from his life every vestige of corruption. As incomprehensible as it sounds at this moment, you may well know this man in a different context one day."

Some of this might not make complete sense, so again my hope is that you will read this book. To others you may disagree with the doctrine...theology...behind some of these words, to those, I am not interested in debating. My hope solely in writing this out, is that it will bring healing and hope to a few of you that is struggling with forgiving someone in your life, that is difficult to forgive. My simple hope is that God teaches me to forgive in and through Him, and frees me from my wounds, my hurt, and my anger. My simple and selfish hope in this that Leann will embrace this and forgive those that have wounded her so. That my children too will embrace this and forgive those that have wounded them so, including forgiving me.

Thank you for reading this, and I hope this changes you and your perspective as it has changed mine.

I spent some time diving into the Word searching God's words for forgiveness. For both Christ forgiving our sins and how we are to forgive others that wrong us. I also spent some time studying how God's desire for us to live at peace with each other, as I believe that is directly related.

Please read over what I have been studying these last weeks and I hope in enlightens you and draws you to a closer walk with Christ as it has with me.

Forgiving Others:

Matthew 6:14
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

Matthew 18:21
...Lord how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? Jesus answered: I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Forgiving Self:

Matthew 6:12
Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

Luke 11:4
Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation.

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Colossians 1:14
In whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.
I am not sure why, but I have been marveling at the consistency in the Bible when God talks about forgiveness, he always relates forgiving others being directly related in Him forgiving us. I also marvel and how often forgiveness and love go hand in hand. Christ has been revealing to me how I have often played the judge and the jury which was never my right, nor my place. I am learning to allow Christ be the judge of myself and of others. I am learning to love them, just as I am, sinners searching out a Savior. I hope you will do the same. I through the last Colossians reference in there as God has been showing me so much about redemption, and I love it, but that is for another time, another writing.

Living in Peace with each other:

1 Thessalonians 5:12-18
...respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. ...warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.
Be joyful alway; praying continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Hebrews 12:14
Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.

I Corinthians 7:15
...God has called us to live in peace.

1 Peter 3:8-12
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who so evil.

Prayers from Prison

2011-10-10T16:02:00.000-07:00

Friends,

It is a little surreal as I spend time looking at this past year, realizing just six months ago, I was just released from prison. While I was in prison in Jacmel for five months and two days, I did some reflecting and some writing. One thing I have shared to many as I have traveled and it is hard to explain. But one aspect of prison I miss. The aspect of worship, quiet time, I read A LOT of books, studied scriptures for hours, and prayed for hours at a time. We had times as a prison cell and as an individual to worship for hours. I miss the intimacy I felt with God during this time. The communion and the closeness I felt. If I get 30 minutes on an average day to do my devotions, it is a good day.

I spent a lot of time praying for my wife and my kids while I was in prison. They would all write me letters, so I would know what and how to pray often. I want to insert one of the prayers I wrote out, almost eight months ago, two weeks before my release. Of course I didn’t know then when I was going to be released.

WARNING: This is raw material written by me in prison NOT EDITED for your reading, please don’t judge me or my children. Read at your own risk. There are specific names, I have chosen not to eliminate, not in efforts to gossip, but for you to see my heart, and for you to know how you can continue to pray for my family. This will make many of you cry if you choose to read to the end.

To help you better understand, I just finished reading a book The Shack that change my perspective a lot (that will be another blog) but my prayers changed, and I prayed to God calling Him my Papa. Another help with content, was during this time, Leann already returned to the US, and was officially 9 months pregnant. It was looking like I was not going to make it back for the birth, and Anise and Frantzo were living in our home caring for our family.

This has many valuable lessons for you and for me. I think it is important to know we can ask God for anything, in any way. You can be honest and true in front of God. I think it is important to realize that in our broken relationships, maybe you are only purposed to hurt one individual, but it ALWAYS hurts others at the same time. Whether divorce, verbal fighting, speaking bad about another, it always effect more then just the person you desire to hurt. Again read at you own risk, and enjoy:

The Prayer of a Husband, and a Father

March 2, 2011

My Prayer and more:

I never thought I would spend this much time in Haitian jail, never, in my wildest dreams never. I am a week shy of completing my 5th month in jail, and the latest developments look like more delays in the future. I find myself feeling hopeless most of the time. Hurting, physically, emotionally, spiritually, in ways I never thought I could. My body aches, literally. My bones, muscles. The leg cramps are daily now and last minutes instead of seconds. My heart aches, I miss my family. I miss my wife the most, although I don't communicate that well to her, or really anyone else. My daily prayers often consist of a longing, a pleading, a begging of my father God to take me to him. To allow me to die, and go to my ultimate home, heaven. My prayers consist of a longing to hold little Jabez my son that passed away June 17, 2009. My prayers included pleading my papa to allow me to be held by my beloved mommy, who joined Jesus January 27, 1997. I long to meet my child Leann lost just days before the Earthquake. I long to sit and visit with my Grandmas and Grandpas that have already joined my Papa in Heaven. I end the prayer that if it is not yet God's will for me to join him, to give me the Grace and Strength to be who He wants me to be, to say what He wants me to say, and to live out His will, perfect, pleasing, will. And on most days, I see God's hand in that day, and He uses me to encourage, love, meet a need, of another. On most days, I place my life in the hands of my Father. Some days is harder then others. But God has been good, sovereign and Faithful each day. Weather I screw up and take matters in my own hands, or whether I allow God to lead and I follow as I am called.

Leann: I miss my Leann, I know many of our conversations end up in meaningless arguments, and I am so sorry for that. The reality and the true honesty, is that I love you now more then I ever have. I miss you so much. I badly want to hold you, protect you, sooth you. I want you to weep on my shoulders. I want to be a safe place you can vent your anger, your hurt, your disappointment. I can't be that person. So Father God, again I come to you, with tears welling in my eyes, I cry out to you, because you and you alone can be the comfort that Leann needs. Papa hold Leann and love her, she was your daughter long before she became my lover, my best friend, my wife. (not in any specific order) :) Father God be Leann's husband, as I have fallen short in every way. Father God, be Leann's papa, as our earthly parents too have let us down. Father God, comfort Leann, heal her hurts, heal her anger, fill the voids. Father God give Leann the Grace and Strength she needs to be the mother today, Papa give her the Grace and Strength to be the daughter, to be the friend, to be the wife, that you have called her too. Father God help her in her anger towards those that have hurt her, personally, and hurt and continue to hurt the ones she loves so dearly. Give her the grace to forgive her friends, her enemies, her husband, her children, and herself. Father God give her the strength she needs to carry out the next few days, or weeks before it is time for little Joseph to physically leave the safe haven of her womb and enter this World. Father God, she needs you now more then ever. In my absence, let her feel you more real now then ever before. Fill the many voids. Heal the many hurts. Love her, let her feel your unconditional and never ending love. Let her soak in your grace. Father God be the man that I can't and could never be for her. Father God, I plea for your grace and strength and love to shine on her now. Leann is hurt, she blames herself for my imprisonment, when it has nothing and never did, have anything to do about her. She questions if her decisions were the right ones, and they were. She did what she needed to do to protect her family, and did an amazing job. She blames herself for some of our children's poor choices, and doesn't see the right choices our kids are making every day because of the impact she has had on their lives. Encourage her. Her anger scares her, comfort her. Help her work though that anger. Help her love those that have hurt her. Father Papa, she needs you now. Let her feel your presence. Help her leave me in Your hands. Leann is scared for my life, comfort her, let her know I am safe and whole in You. Love her Papa love her. Papa meet her every need and every desire. Make her whole in you.

Riann: I miss my Riann, and hurt that she at the ripe age of four years old is hurting so much with my absence. Riann prays daily that I won't die. Riann prays daily that Leann won't die. She grieves the death of her imaginary friend Teresa, a fetish of death is now upon her, and she daily speak about death. Riann grieves her brother, Jabez, who died two years ago. I am not sure what brought this on, but I grieve I can't hold her, help her process these new emotions and hurt. Riann grieves the loss of close friendships in the Mangine's kids, mostly in Josiah, Nia, and Nico, but also their extended family in Fritzie, Sandi, Prisca, Wildne, Jerry, Jean Dony, and . Her friend little Blayne. I cry out to God to be Riann's ever present Papa in my absence. I cry out to God to meet her every need, the every want of little Riann. I cry out to God to bring joy in the every moments of Riann, as she attends a new school. Meets new friends. Riann longs to return to Haiti, the only home she has ever known. She daily cries longing to play with her own brothers, Nesely, Nerry, Evens, Rico, Ticarlis, Toto, Mackenson, Mackendy, Patrick, Omega, and Woody, and her sisters, Magdaline, Lovelie, Chachoue, Slendia, Vania, Elinda, Diane, Tina, Berline, Loudridge, Blanca, and Michoue. To play with her little nephew Dav. She misses our house staff, our security staff, and our support staff. I cry to God to comfort her and fill the many gaps that she feels on a daily basis. She longs to be held, to be picked up and loved. She misses her daddy. She falls and cuts her knee, badly, she pushes Leann away and just wants her daddy. Father God hold her, comfort her in this time of separation. Leann wants to hold her, to pick her up, to promise her in just a short time her daddy will be joining her, but the simple reality is Leann doesn't know that for herself anymore. Leann, condemned to bed rest for the last few weeks of her pregnancy, told not to lift anything over 10 pounds, can't carry Riann, can't even hold her close with the bulging uncomfortable stomach 9 months of pregnancy offers. Riann can't understand, she just knows that her daddy is not around and mommy won't love her in the same way she used too, in the way she desperately needs to be loved. Father God love Riann, hold her close, comfort her, make her aware of Your never ending presence. Your never ending love. Let her know that You will never let her down. You will never forsake her. You will never hurt her. Let her know Your love, please, Papa God love Riann for me. She is your daughter, and You love her more than I. Love her now. Love her. Fill the gap that she feels.

Jabez Matthew: I miss you so much Jabez Matthew. My eyes swell as I write this. I long to hold you and see your smile once again. But God has made it clear to me that the time is not yet. Papa give me the patience to wait until the time comes when you call me home to You. Papa I pray that you care so tenderly for my JB. I release him in Your loving and caring arms. I am not sure why you called him to Yourself so early. I feel violated and wronged, but Papa I know you have a reason. Papa, I feel I have failed You and failed JB, as we successfully bought the land, and I attributed much of that to the life of my JB, but now we lost the land. Papa, I pray you redeem that land. Use the land to serve Your purpose and Your people. Papa redeem this whole mess, like only You can. Papa, let my JB know how much I love him and how much I miss him. Joseph will never take your place, no child ever will. JB you are special and will always be. I love you, I miss you my JB. Papa please please please care for my JB, Papa Please Please Please care for my precious my little JB.

Joseph Daniel: I haven't physically met you yet, but I have seen things that I have been told are your picture inside your mommy's belly. I have been absent for most of the 9 months you were formed in your mothers womb. I probably will be absent for your official entering this world, and even the first few days, maybe even weeks of your life. Please know that is no reflection of my love I have for you. I have already begun to pray for you, and the life that meets you. Life is not easy, it is not fair. The people you love the most will let you down. They will brake promises, and hurt you. I wish I could promise that I will protect you from all that hurt. I wish I could promise I will always be there for you. The simple truth is I can't, so I won't. I promise I will do everything I can to point you in the direction of your heavenly father, the only man that loves you more then I do. The only man that will never let down, never brake a promise, and will always be there, whether you see of feel His presence. I love you. I promise I will do all I can to protect you, care for you, meet your needs, and even some of your wants. You are entering during a rough time in our family, but God has so much in store for you, God has so much in store for us all. I can't wait to take you to school. To meet your first love, to encourage you in an academic or athletic event. I am already so proud of you, and nothing you can ever do or say will ever change that. I love you my son.

Nesly: I miss my Nesly. Papa God be the man that Nes leans on right now. Let him know that You will never leave him, You will never forsake him. He has struggled so much these past five months in my absence. He has rebelled against Leann, and tried to be the man of the house that he is in fact not yet ready to claim. Help him to learn to live a life of humility and service. Comfort him. Give him the grace as it is hard for Nes to take instruction from Leann. Humble him. Make him an obedient son. Help him to see the hurt that everyone around him is feeling. Help him to decide to be a good example to the other kids in the house as they look to him. Keep him safe on the motorcycle, as he runs errands for our home. Papa, help him to know You more. Papa help him to rely on You more. Papa, please don't allow theses experience to push away from You. Papa please help these experiences to draw him ever closer to You. Papa, Nes needs You now. He needs to know that You and You alone will never leave him. Will never forsake him. Papa, Nes needs to know that You and You alone will never let him down. Papa, please give Nes a heart of service, a heart wanting to help Leann, and help Frantzo and Anise in Leann's absence. Papa I pray that Nes will know You and know You to your fullest. Papa I pray that Nes will rely on You. Papa I pray that Nes will not seek out love and affection in unhealthy ways, but he will look to You and You alone to meet his needs. Papa, I have let Nes down, time and time again. Papa give Nes the grace to forgive me. Give him the grace to forgive others that have let him down. Papa, men that he looked up to as his family, as his friend, as his Pastor, have hurt him. Papa, please give Nes the grace to forgive them, and give Nes the grace to walk in your grace, and your grace alone. Fill the gaps, fill the emptiness in Nes hurting heart, and help him to feel You. Papa love Nes, and be the father that Nes needs right now.

Nerry: I miss my Nerry. Papa God, Nerry is sick right now. I ask you now to heal his body. Heal his hurting and upset stomach. Heal the fever that plagues him right now. Nerry hurts as just this last week he celebrated another birthday, yet the man he calls his daddy, and women he calls his mommy was not there. Papa, be his mommy, be Nerry's Papa. Nerry is such a bright young man, and often just lacks self confidence. Papa pray that You give him the confidence that he needs. Let him know who he is in You. Papa let Nerry feel Your love and Your presence, now more then ever. Papa let Nerry know how proud You are of him. How proud You are to call him Your son. Papa, heal Nerry's hurts, his physical, emotional, and spiritual hurts. Papa help Nerry to walk in forgiveness. To forgive me the many times I have let him down. Papa help Nerry to forgive those others that hurt him, that might not and may never recogonize how they have hurt him. Papa, let Nerry know how much You love him. Let him be confident that You will never leave him that You will never forsake him. Papa, be the model that Nerry needs. Be the Papa that Nerry needs. Nerry is so smart, help him to continue to apply himself to his studies. Papa we almost lost Nerry a few times, once during a refrigerator attack, and then the muscle eating disease, Papa, I cannot imagine my life without Nerry. Papa, I can't imagine our family without Nerry. I know he is quiet and timid, and sometimes feels insignificant, but that can't be farther from the truth. He means the World to Leann and I, and more importantly he means the world to You. Please let him know that. Let him know how much I love him and how much I miss him. Let him know how much I am proud of him. Nerry has written some of the most meaningful letters to me while I am in prison. Let him know how much those letters have meant to me. Love Nerry in a way that I can't right now. Papa, Nerry needs You now. I pray that this time of separation will bring Nerry closer to You. I pray Papa that Nerry will learn to rely on You and You alone to meet his every need. God please give Nerry the grace and strength to be a good help, encouragement to Leann and to Frantzo and Anise in my absence. Papa I pray that you continue molding Nerry into the man that You have called him to be.

Rico: I miss my Rico. Papa God, Rico is lost, he still is insecure in his surroundings. Rico still often makes poor choices to steal from us, to lie to us. Rico often makes poor choices to sneak out to be with a girl.   Papa I ask You to protect him. Papa, I ask you to draw him to You in this time of difficulty. Papa, Rico is as I am, in desperate need of salvation. Of Your salvation. Papa I ask You to save my Rico. Papa I ask you to draw Rico into You. Papa I ask You to keep him safe in the choices he makes. Papa I ask for Your grace to abound as You form him and mold him. Shine Your grace, don't be harsh with him. Papa please help Rico see the need to repent, the need to follow with total surrender after You. Please help him see the destruction that lies ahead of him if he continues making poor choices. Please Papa help Rico find the right way to walk. Please Papa draw Rico to You. Put other men in his life that will communicate in words and actions what is means to be a true man. Help this man to speak in love, as that is what Rico can hear, the harsh words only push him farther from You. Please Papa be graceful with Rico. Help him obey and be respectful with Anise and Frantzo and Leann in my separation. I pray that Rico will know You and follow You. I pray that You help Rico forgive those that have hurt him and those that have let him down. Please Papa be the papa that I can't be right now. Papa I am confident most of Rico's acting out, his rebelling, his stealing, is birthed in an insecurity that is deep with in. A wound deep within. A wound that only You can heal. Papa I am confident of one thing that Rico simply needs to know You. Papa reveal Yourself to my Rico. I pray that he will know You, accept You, and love You. Papa save my Rico.

Toto: I miss my Toto. Toto my youngest boy in the home, quickly becoming a man. How much I miss my Toto. Toto hurt, Toto wept during his own birthday, during his own Christmas celebration because of my absence, as did many of our kids. But for Toto it was a big deal. Christmas as is with most young boys is all about what he is going to get. Not this year. He was willing to not get anything is that meant daddy coming home. For whatever reason, that didn't happen this year. Papa please help Toto to forgive me for not being there for him. Papa please help Toto to know that I love him and long to be with him, right now. Papa You are a better father then I can ever be. Papa be the father that Toto needs right now. Papa Toto is at such a crucial age making decisions that will affect the rest of his life, yet so many things are not right, not fair in his World. Papa I ask You to show Toto that You are fair, and You love him. Papa I ask You to be present for Toto right now. To love him in the absence of Leann and I. Let him feel Your love. Papa I pray this time will bring Toto closer to You, and not cause him to shut down and push those that love him away. Papa I cry out to You to be compassionate and gracious with my Toto right now. Bring men in his life that he can look up too. Papa Toto doesn't understand why things in our home, things in our ministry have fallen apart. Papa, Toto doesn't fully understand why the land that was once for him, promised to him by people he loved and trusted, he no longer is able to visit. Papa, Toto did nothing to deserve this, please redeem these lost promises, help him to forgive those that have let him down. Redeem the mango trees he longs to climb, and the soccer he longs to play, and the hikes he longs to take on that land. Redeem that as only you can Papa. Papa, Toto needs You now more then ever. Let him know that You will never leave him or forsake him. Papa I pray that Toto will continue putting his faith and trust in You and You alone. Papa I pray that during this time of loss that You will draw Toto closer to You. Papa help Toto to forgive those that have hurt him. Teach Toto how to walk in Your grace and Your love.

Ticarlis: I miss my Tic. As I read his letter today, I read the guilt that he feels for not writing to me more often. I read the hurt he feels for not being able to see me now almost 5 months, the most time he has ever experienced in the past 6 years, which is half of his life. Papa, comfort Tic now. Love Tic like only You can. Tic explains in his letter to me today, that he cannot write more then once a week because his studies and homework keeps him so busy. Tic wants nothing more then to make me, his daddy, proud. Papa please let Tic know I am proud. I am proud to call Tic my son, and there is nothing he can say or do to change that simple fact. Papa please let Tic know how proud You are of him. Papa, please help Tic feel Your presence and Your comfort right now. He is so smart, first in his class, and he works so hard to keep that status. Papa help Tic to understand no matter if he is first or last he will always be 1st for me and more importantly 1st to You. Papa love Tic. Help him to learn to find his identity in You and You alone. Heal Tics hurts, heal his loneliness he feels in the absence of Leann and I. Help Tic as he grieves the loss, help him learn it is just stuff, and that You can and will provide all his needs according to Your will. Help Tic to forgive those that have hurt him and let him down. Guide Tic, as he to enters into a crucial time and period of life. Help Tic to rely solely on You, as You and You alone will never let him down. As You and You alone will never break Your promise. As You and You alone will never not be present when he needs You. Papa please let Tic know that You love him. Papa please let Tic know that I love him and I am proud of him. He needs to hear that. Papa, please bring the joy into Tics life, redeem the losses that he feels, let him to be a boy. Love him, Papa as only you can. Comfort him, provide for him, encourage him, Papa, be the dependable, loving, and compassionate father that he needs.

Evens: I miss my Evens. No matter what, how, when, or where Evens is one who can always make me laugh. I miss laughter. Papa, Evens is a good young man, seeking to find his place in this World. Please help him, please Papa guide him to what he should be doing, and what he shouldn't be doing. Papa bring men in Even's life to be a positive influence. Papa heal Evens wounds, heal Evens hurts. Papa answer Evens questions, fill his voids with You. He is so smart, help him to keep his focus in school in Leann and my absence. Lord, Evens questions who he can trust. When people close to you turn their backs, everything comes in question. Let Evens know he can fully put his trust in You, and in You alone. Papa, help Evens not to take these hurts and trials personally. Papa during these trials in Evens life drawl him closer to You. Teach him that You are the one and only person that will never let him down. Papa help Evens not to turn to rebellion during this time, but turn to You to give him the strength and grace he needs for today. Papa grow Evens into the man you have called him to be. Evens is Your child and I release him in Your capable hands.

Patrick: I miss my Patrick. It feels a little weird saying that specifically because Papouch is only 8 years younger then I am. But Papa, Papouch is still my son, and more importantly he is Your son. Care for him. Papouch struggles so much in school, and with these last few months he struggles even more. Papouch is full of potential, and full of love. But Papa, Papouch as we have seen before easily makes the wrong decisions when he looses his focus. In times like these it is even easier for Papouch to loose his focus. Please Papa, be Papouch's focus. Please Papa draw Papouch closer to You in this time. Reveal Yourself to him now more then You ever have. Let him know that he is safe, he is secure, he is loved. Let him know that he is Your child and You are proud of him. Papa provide a friend within the Church to mentor and help Papouch make right choices. Papa, help Papouch to use his talents to serve and bring Glory to You. Papa, Papouch has struggles with several random health issues this past few months that has been specifically difficult not having me around, it has both humbled him, and stretched Mama Leann. Papa, heal Papouch. Papa, give Papouch the confidence to know who he is in You. Help him not feel like he has to prove his worth, because he is priceless just as he is. Papa help Papouch forgive. Papa, Papouch being the oldest is the most angry. He is angry over the loss our family over possessions, over "the promised land" over betrayal of people he once considered family. Papa heal these deep wounds in Papouch. Papa draw Papouch closer to You in this time of hardship.

Omega: Bel-Long-e, I miss you so. Your smile alone would make my day better. Papa You love Omega before I even knew him. Papa he was Your son long before he became my son. Papa, Omega has lost a lot in his life. A lot of people have turned his back and abandoned him. Now he finds himself in that place once again. People he let in have hurt him. Papa I know the World is full of disappointments, Papa, I know that people, that I, am just a sinner, we all are. We all let those we love down. But Papa, as Omega's father, my job is to protect him. Papa I have failed Omega, as I have all my kids. I did not protect him from this loss. Papa, please give Omega the grace and mercy to forgive me and forgive others that have let him down. Papa give Omega the grace to forgive the men and women that made promises to him, and broke them. Papa, Omega has grown so much in You in the past few years, he has matured past my expectations. Papa Omega has been called to reach more men and women of Haiti then I ever can. Papa I plead You that these obstacles will strengthen my Omega. Papa I pray that this will draw him closer to You, and not farther away. Papa, Omega is an amazing leader, whether in it in children's church, in VBS, Sports Outreach, or translating in Seguin. He is a man after Your Heart. Use him and grow him in amazing ways. Papa help Omega draw strength from You and You alone. Papa, I pray that You make Omega the pillar of strength to help carry his brothers and sisters through this hard time. Papa, Omega has already struggled under Leann's leadership in times, Papa I pray You humble Omega, make him into the servant You have called him to. Papa, I ask You to help Omega forgive those that have hurt him and let him down. Papa draw my bel long e to You in this time of hurt.

Mackendy: I miss my Mackendy. The ever willing helper. Papa, Mackendy's heart is so pure. He is the truest servant that I have ever seen. No matter the task, no matter the time, no matter the conditions, Mackendy is my willing hands. Papa encourage Mackendy now. I don't share my appreciation enough, Papa let him know that I am, more importantly You, appreciate him. Papa, I pray that You protect and guard my Mackendy's heart. He is a true servant, but he is fragile. He loves me so and Leann so, and would do anything. It pains me to think how hard this time away has been on him. Papa, let him know that his endless letters have been my lifeline in some of the hardest moments in prison. Papa protect Mackendy now. Papa watch over him with a careful eye. Help Mackendy not get to discouraged by the endless waiting. Papa I pray that Mackendy can focus on You to meet his needs, as You and You alone will never let him down. Papa draw Mackendy close to you. Papa Mackendy is full of talent, music, teaching, endless. He sometimes lacks the confidence he needs. Papa give him the confidence he needs. Papa help Mackendy to forgive those that have hurt him. Papa help Mackendy not to focus on what we have lost the past few months, and look to the future to what we can gain. Papa, draw Mackendy close to You now. He needs You now more then ever. Papa let Mackendy know that You will never forsake him, You will never leave him.

Mackenson: I miss my Mackenson. Papa I am in awe to the man that Mackenson is becoming. I have seen more changes in Mackenson over the past year then anyone else. Mackenson has changed from my lazy teenage boy, that ducks and hides from work, and quick to talk back, to another willing helper, and not only willing but an eager helper with a joyful attitude. Papa I know that is Your work in His life. Papa, I ask you to continue Your work. Papa I pray that Mackenson will not become discouraged, and back slide that he will press forward, and grow in You. Papa I pray specifically for his relationship with Sheila. I can't lie I am scared for him. Protect him, protect his body, his heart, his mind. God I pray that You teach Mackenson what it means to be a Man of God in my absence. Papa keep Mackeson pure. Papa help Mackenson look to You and to You alone to meet his every need. Papa I ask You to help Mackenson forgive those that have hurt him. Papa Mackenson has excelled so much in school, I pray that he will keep his focus solely on You. Papa, instill in Mackenson that You will never leave him, You will never forsake him, You will never let him down. Papa protect, encourage, love, and show Yourself to Mackenson now. Papa show Yourself to Mackenson now.

Woody: I miss my Woody. You are of the few that understand sarcasm. I am not sure, but if I was to guess I would say that is in part of the intense one on one time you spent with both your mom and me a few years ago during your accident. I am not sure if that is a good trait that we passed on to you, but you can always make me smile. Woody I love you. I almost lost you a few years back to a blood clot that traveled to your lung. It scared me so much. My life would be different without you in it. Our family would be different without you in it. I know you feel insignificant at times, and that is not the case. You are significant to me, and more importantly you are significant to God. Papa, I pray that you comfort and love on Woody right now, where he is at. He is hurting, he loves his mom and dad, and has a special connection to us, not just because we wiped his butt, he hurts in our absence. Papa, fill that void. Comfort him now. Papa, Woody is so intelligent, he sometimes makes poor choices often because he surrounds himself with poor influences, Papa have mercy and shine Your grace on Woody. I pray that You surround him with friends that will lead him in the right directions. Skin level he is a goof, but beneath that he an incredible young man, longing to do what is right by those he loves and respects. He is a willing servant, and eager Uncle with Dav, and big brother with JB before his passing, and now to Riann, and soon little Joseph. Papa keep him from the temptations and the destruction of the enemy. Papa, I ask you to help Woody forgive those that have hurt him, those that have let him down. Those of us that have made him promises and not followed through with them. Papa, I cry out to you know to have mercy on Your son Woody. Let him know how proud both Leann and I are. And more importantly how proud You are to call him Your son. Papa, draw him closer to You during these harder times. Papa give him patience as he waits for my return home, and for Leann's return.

Jean: I miss my Nanal. I have not done a good job communicating how much I really miss my Nanal, but not a day goes by that I don't think of him, and long to see him once again. Papa, his letters to me while I am in prison, have been my lifeline. I read maturity as he reminds me of Your promises in Scripture, maturity that I cannot accept responsibility for. Papa, thank You so much for growing him in You these last two years. Our family has not been whole since his departure, but I take great comfort knowing the great success he is having in school. Papa, I am so grateful that You have cared so merciful for Your son Jean. Please comfort him, and provide for him. Please Papa make him whole in You. Papa I pray that he looks to You and You alone to meet his needs. Papa watch over him, protect him. Papa, I selfishly ask You to reunite us all one day soon. We miss him so. Let him know how proud Leann and I are of him. Let him know how much we love him. More importantly Papa, let him know how much You love him.

Berline: I miss my Berline. Papa, Berline in an amazing women, that hungers and thirsts to know You more. Papa, Berline has been wounded more then I will ever know by these recent events. Papa she has been the most vocal, she has longed to express her hurt, her pain, her betrayal personally to Nick and Gwenn, and to the leaders of Joy in Hope. Papa I have tried so hard to protect her, to shield her from all this pain. Papa, I am not there to protect her, and neither is her mom. Papa, I pray that You protect her. I heard her hurting voice on the radio just a week ago, pleading for justice, pleading for the release of her dad. I heard the hurt. Please heal her deep wounds. Please care for her with Your compassion and grace. Please walk Berline down a road of forgiveness. Not for the sake of those that have hurt her, but for her own sake. Papa, I cry out to you to protect Berline, to encourage her, to let her know she is not alone. She longs to be Your disciple, sharing Your message with the lost and the hurting. I pray that You kindle that desire, I pray that she does not lose that in her own hurt. Papa please let Berline know how much she is loved. Care for her now. Help her rely on You to be her pillar of strength during this time. As the oldest daughter living in the home, I pray that Berline can serve as an example and an encouragement to the other girls. That she will help shield, disciple, encourage, and love on the girls. Papa I love Berline so, but You love her even more. I cry out to You now to protect her, encourage her. Berline is an amazing leader, and amazing servent, whether in VBS, children's church, braiding other girls hair, or helping in the kitchen. Please help her not to lose hope. Please help her not to lose heart in this difficult time. Berline has lost so much, redeem her loss, Papa redeem her loss.

Michoue: I miss my Michoue. Papa, Michoue has wounds and hurts that cut much deeper then what has happened to our family this past year. Papa Michoue, my oldest, on her own, with a child of her own, is still my daughter. I still love her, long to protect her. Hold her close, and keep her safe. But I can't. I haven't been able to do that for some time. Papa You can. Please, yes she has made mistakes, we all have. Papa embrace her with Your grace, Papa embrace her with Your mercy, Papa embrace her with Your forgiveness. Instill in her there is NOTHING she can do to make You love her more. Papa let her know now, how much we love her, and how much we are proud of her. Papa, I know the last words she had with mer mom, Leann, were harsh, and difficult to hear. Papa, encourage her, but Papa lead her. Draw her nearer to You. Don't let her hide. Make her aware of Your presence now. Make Your presence more real in this moment as it has ever been. Papa I pray that Michoue will know You as her father. A man that will never take advantage of her, that will never hurt her, that will never break a promise. Papa, draw my Michoue to You. Papa form Michoue into the mommy that You have called her to be. Papa form Michoue into the women of Christ that You long her to be. Papa, be compassionate and graceful, Papa lead and guide her. Let her know how much her mom and I love her, and that we will ALWAYS love her, no matter what. Papa love my Michoue now.

Blanca: I miss my Blanca. My Blancito. Papa, have compassionate on my dear Blanca. She is filled with anger. She is hurt and angry, and insecure, and scared. Today it is about Loudride. She fears that Loudrige is being kicked out, forgotten. Papa, please let Blanca know how loved she is, that she is secure in her home. She is our daughter and nothing she or anyone can do to change that simple fact. Papa, give Blanca the understanding she needs. Help her realize it is not Anise and Frantzo's fault, they just happen to be the only ones home during these big changes. Papa, encourage Blanca now. Help her forgive those that have hurt her. Blanca wants to be different, and Blanca wants to know that she is loved, that she is safe, and secure. Please Papa, instill a security that only you can. Papa, Blanca has been physically sick, heal her body. Papa, Blanca is an amazing young women, and incredibly smart young women, she struggles in school, encourage her. Help her through these difficult days. Heal her wounds. Help her know that she can always put her trust in You and You will never fail her. Papa, draw Blanca near to You. Love her. Protect her. Help her discover her identity in You. Be her Papa. Papa help Blanca to forgive those that have hurt her. Heal those deep wounds. Make my Blanca whole in You Papa.

Loudrige: I miss my Loudrige. Papa, I physically hurt for Loudrige. Leann and I both long to hold her, weep with her, laugh with her, talk with her, reason with her. Papa neither Leann or I can be there in some of the most difficult months she has ever faced. But Papa You are there. You can help her, guide her, protect her. encourage her. Papa, I beg you to bring women to her, not to condemn, but to encourage, to love, to care for Loudrige's needs during this time. Papa, my Loudrige is a women, becoming a mommy early in life. Papa, my Loudrige has been hurting. She has been missing her daddy for some time now. Papa, she made some poor choices, and put herself in some unwise places. Papa forgive my Lourdrige, redeem her hurt. Redeem her loss. Papa, have compassion and mercy on my Loudrige. Papa, Loudrige is still so innocent, so fragile, Papa, Loudrige is your daughter, carry her in this difficult time. Let her know that You are close to her now. Papa, draw her near to You. Papa Loudrige hurts, she feels betrayed, lied to, let down. Papa redeem the loss that Loudrige feels. Meet her every need. Papa comfort my Loudrige. Prepare her body, prepare her mind, prepare her spirit, prepare her heart to be a mommy. Papa use this miracle of new life to breath new life into our family. Papa, Loudrige has a beautiful Heart, her mom and I have seen it in the past 6 years. Please don't let Loudrige lose heart. Help her to call out to You in her darkest moments. Help her forgive, help her live and love well. Papa, be my Loudriges Papa.

Chachoue: I miss my Chachoue. Papa, I cry out to You on behalf of my little Chachoue. She is not so little anymore, a young women, searching for her place in her home, in her school, in her church, with her friends and with her siblings. Papa, Chachoue is such a tender, gentle, quiet, and timid young women. Protect her Papa, keep her safe and secure in Your arms. Papa Chachoue is SO intelligent, she excels quickly and naturally in school. Papa, Chachoue still seeks her identity, she still is seeking her importance. Papa I pray that You secure her in You. Let her know that she is loved. Let her know how proud Leann and I are of her, Papa even more importantly let her know how precious she is to You. Papa keep her safe from temptations. Keep her safe from the lies of her enemies. Papa, meet her most inner needs and desires. Papa, let her know that she is safe and secure in You. Papa, I ask you to heal my Chachoue's hurts and pains. Heal her wounds. Heal her disappointments. Papa Chachoue has a hard time expressing how she is feeling in her timidness, but You know her, and You love her more then Leann and I ever could. Papa draw my Chachoue to you. Make her whole in You. Make Yourself real to my Chachoue now. Papa please, love, encourage, heal, have mercy and grace on my Chachoue. Let her know she is secure in You. Chachoue has a hard time forgiving when she has been wronged. Papa help my Chachoue forgive those that have hurt her.

Lovely: I miss my Lovely. Your name describes you perfectly, you are truly lovely. I miss you so my Love. Papa I pray that you protect my Love. Keep her safe, I want to hold her and treat her as my little girl but she is far from my little girl now. Papa, I remember when I first met my Love, hair shaved to her scalp and her head skin infection on her scalp very evident. Over the years you have redeemed that. You have healed her scalp fully, allowed her to grow beautiful and long hair. Papa in the same way I plead with You to redeem my Love. Heal her hurts. Draw her to Yourself. She has anger and hurt, and fears hidden in places even I don't know about. Papa she keeps you at distant. I pray, I plead that You break that barrier. That You draw my Love to You now, and help her to know You fully. You carried her during her operation a year ago removing the cyst from her breast, I held her in my arms, when she fainted when going to a doctors appointment with Leann and I. Papa, I beg You to have mercy have grace on my Love. I pray that she grows to know You as her personal Savior, and know You to Your fullest. Papa, keep her safe. Keep her heart, her soul, her mind, and her body from all harm. Papa let her know how much her mom and I miss her, and long to be with her now. Papa You have amazing plans for my Love, I know You do. I pray that You form her into the woman that You have called her to be. Papa, help my Love forgive where others have hurt her. Papa redeem my Love's losses, my Loves pains. Papa love on my Love now.

Magdaline: I miss my Magdaline. Papa, my Maggie has so many hurts, so many scars, so many bruises, most of them not visibly seen by my eye, but you see them. Papa I pray you heal my Maggie. Heal her mind, heal her soul, hear her wounded heart. Make my Maggie whole Papa. Papa, Maggie likes to know that she is loved, that she is wanted, that she matters, that she is important. Papa I cannot communicate that from my prison cell. Papa You can. Please let my Maggie know how much she is loved by Leann and I, but even more by You. Papa, bring the joy back to Maggie and help her sing Your praises so that all can hear. Papa I pray that Maggie will feel safe and secure in You. Maggie has come so far in the few years I have called her my daughter. She is so smart, she only has to apply herself. And she is, she has been doing that for some time. She is growing into such an amazing women. Papa help my Maggie stay focused in school. Help her not be distracted by the brokeness of our family, help her not be distracted by the cute boys she likes. Help her not be distracted by her hurts. Papa heal Maggie. Papa help Maggie forgive those that have hurt her. Those that have used her for selfish reasons. Papa protect Maggie when I cant. Heal her. Papa make Maggie whole in you. Papa, You love Maggie more then I will ever. Please reveal that love in a special way to her now. Papa bring friends in Maggie's life that will be a positive influence. Papa encourage my Maggie now. Papa let my Maggie know how beautiful she is on the inside and the outside.

Slandia: I miss my Slandia. Papa my Slandia is so young still, so innocent. Papa she has her mom that is still in her life, and still loves her so much, but You have chosen me to play the role of her Father. Papa, as much as I would like to keep her safe and sheltered from this pain, I know she feels it. I read it in her sweet little letters. She is afraid that I will forget her. Papa give her the security her little heart needs to know that I can never and will never forget her. Papa I pray that Slandia will know You as her personal Lord and Savior at her young age, and You will grow her in Your likeness, and in Your image. Papa keep her safe from harm. Protect her innocence from the evil one. Papa draw Slandia close to You now. She doesn't fully understand the separation from her dad, or what has been going on in our family and ministry the last 6 months to cause such pain and hard ship. Papa comfort my Slandia, be her ever present Papa, comforter, and friend. Papa redeem the time that we have lost together.

Vania: I miss my Vania. My dear Baby. Please know even when we return with a new little brother. You Vania will still, and will always be Daddy's Baby. Papa Vania is so young, so innocent. She doesn't understand why and how people we consider once to be our family can in short time turn their backs and inflict such pain on the people that are supposed to bring light, hope, and love to this country. Papa Baby lost a lot of her close friends in this separation. It is not fair, it is not her fault. She lost people she loved that would visit often, and make promises her; that will never visit her again. Friends that now run away when they see us. Papa that is not Vania's fault, please redeem this, give her friends that will be true. Papa redeem this for my baby. Papa, I pray that you shield my baby from this hurt this pain. Let her know how much her mom and I love her, and nothing will ever change that. Let my baby know we have no plans on leaving her, and never did. Papa redeem the time we lost with my baby. My heart was touched when Baby refused to celebrate her own birthday and then Christmas in my absence, Papa let her know that those days are not about me, but about her. Papa help her find joy, and hope. Papa help her find encouragement in her older sisters. Papa I pray that You bring Vania close to You, that she may know You and want to follow. Papa protect my baby. Help her forgive those that have hurt her. Papa redeem the friendships she has lost in result of this separation. Papa meet my Vania's needs, and inner most desires. Papa encourage my Baby and let her know I will be with her soon. Papa help Baby be obedient and respectful to Anise and Frantzo, to her teachers, and to her Pastor. Papa draw my baby close to You.

Elinda: I miss my Elinda. My little dizod, my little trouble maker. Papa I ask You to encourage my little Elinda. Oddly it seems on the outside, that she does the best with theses hard times, but I know on the inside, she hurts. My little woman, as she grows, as she continues to develop, Papa I pray that you keep her safe. Papa guard her heart, guard her mind, guard her spirit, guard her soul, guard her body for all harm. Papa I pray you heal my Elinda's hurts, her feeling of betrayal. Papa, I pray you help my Elinda forgive those that have hurt her. Papa I pray that you guide Elinda, protect my Elinda. Papa, Elinda, already is an amazing leader, I know Your plans for Elinda are no short of amazing. Papa I pray that Elinda will know You, and be close to You. Papa, she is Your daughter, she loves You, and is anxious to serve You. Papa preserve that desire in her. Papa redeem the loss that she feels. Papa as a daddy's girl she hurts from this seperation. Papa she has a tough shell but you know her inside. Papa, meet her where she is at, and heal her wounds. Papa meet her needs. Papa help my Elinda to look to You and You alone to be her ever loving Father and friend. Papa You will never disappoint her. Papa you will never break a promise. Papa help my Elinda not to rebel against You or against her authorities. Papa help Elinda to respect Frantzo, Anise, her teachers, her pastors. Papa show Your divine mercy and grace on my precious Elinda. Papa draw Elinda nearer to You, help her know You intimately. Papa keep my Elinda safe. Papa, let my Elinda know how much her mom and I miss her, how much her mom and I are proud of her and love her. Papa even more help Elinda know how much You love her. Elinda works daily to ensure I have the food and clothes I need in prison, bless her for her services. Just a year ago she wanted boobs for Christmas (lol, I will never forget that), and now she is all a woman. But God, grow Elinda on the inside, heal and form her heart to love and live well.

Diane: I miss my Diane. Papa, I pray for my Diane now. Papa Diane has struggled so much, in her friendships, in her school, Papa, I pray that You give the humility for Diane to live well. Papa Diane lashed out because she is hurt and defensive of being hurt again. I pray that You heal my Diane's hurts. Papa draw my Diane close to You. Help her to know You. Comfort my Diane and protect her from the schemes of the evil one. Papa I pray that You fill the voids in Diane's life. I pray that you redeem the time that she has lost. Papa redeem the things she has lost. Papa redeem the friends that my Diane has lost. This separation has wounded my Diane, I pray you heal her and redeem that. Papa, heal Diane's hair issues as her hair continues to fall out. Papa most of all I pray my Diane will know You, and grow to love You and put her trust in You and You alone. Papa let Diane know Your promises of never leaving her and never forsaking her. Papa love on my precious Diane now. Help her have a good attitude. Help her have a heart of submission and obedience. Help her not to rebel against her earthly parents or against You Papa. Papa my Diane has a hard shell, but she is just mush inside. Papa carry my Diane through this difficult time.

Tina: I miss my Tina. Oh Tina, I love you my Tina. You became a woman while I am in jail. I am so sorry I missed so many big moments in your life. Papa redeem the time I missed with my Tina. I remember the day you came into our home, into our family, now over two years ago. So much has changed in those two years. You were horrified of me. I had Dr. Teresa remove your extra digits on your hands and your feet, you hated me for that. You thought that is was your special power. Papa I pray that Tina has learned that You and You alone hold power over life and death. Papa I pray You love on my precious Tina. She, yet a woman, still so young and innocent. Papa, she is in that awkward stage of changes in her body, and her emotions, deciding daily on women activities, or girl activities. Papa I pray you keep my Tina safe from the lies of the Evil one. Papa I pray my Tina will grow to know You and know You more intimately. Papa Tina has an amazing servant heart, cleaning up where ever she see the need. Help her to serve You with that servant heart. Papa I pray that others don't take advantage of her. Papa she is so smart. # 1 in her class. Papa let her know how proud her mom and I are of her, and how much we love her. Papa let her know that she is secure in You, that You will never leave her, and never let her down. Papa heal Tina's hurts and wounds. Papa, help Tina to forgive those that have hurt her. Papa show your mercy and your grace to Tina, keep her safe, and draw her to yourself. Continue to form my Tina in Your image.

Dav: I miss my Dav. Papa my precious little grandson Dav. I pray that You heal his sick body. Papa Dav's mom has made some mistakes, but as You do, You redeem our mistakes often into something amazing, something wonderful. That papa is what Dav is. Papa he is a wonderful, precious gift from You. I pray Papa that Dav will grow up and know You at a young age. Provide for my little Dav. Meet his every need. Bring men in his life that will positively teach him the proper way to live, to love. Papa I pray that my little Dav will grow up to be a mighty caring compassionate Man of God. Papa I pray You change Haiti because of Dav's life. Papa let Dav know that he is loved, Papa Dav is not a mistake, his life was chosen long before anyone new. Papa love Dav as only You can.

Papa I cry out to You on behalf of all my kids. Papa, I pray that I can point them to You better then I have done in the past. Papa, I pray that You give them the grace to forgive me where I have wronged them, where I have hurt them. Papa I ask you to redeem the time that we have lost over the past five months. Papa I ask you to redeem the things we have lost over the past year. Papa, I ask you to redeem the friendships that we have lost over the past year. You are a God of the impossible, so I cry out to You, what feels like some impossible requests. Papa, I pray that my kids will know You. And grow in You. Papa, I pray that my kids will feel secured and know that I love them and I am proud of them, no matter what they do, no matter what they have done. No matter what has been done to them. Papa, I pray my kids will know I love them, and that will never change. Papa, more important I pray that they will know Your love. Papa I pray that my kids will grow in faith and love. Papa I pray that my kids learn there is nothing they need to do to earn my love, I love them. They don't need to earn my pride, I am so proud of them. Let them feel my love. Teach me to love them better. Teach me to be the father that they desperately need. Papa teach me to point them to You. In every day, In every way.

Papa I have asked so much in this prayer. I thank you that you don't hold my many requests against me. Papa I am truly thankful that you have given me such an amazing family. Papa help me be a good steward of this precious gift. Papa give me the strength and courage to be the husband and Father you have called me to be. Papa I pray that I will look to You daily to lead and guide me. Papa, I pray that I may simply point my kids to You. Papa I pray that my kids will know You as their personal savior, their friend, and their Papa. Thank you for loving my family more then I will ever comprehend. Thank you for being my Papa, thank you for being their Papa. Thank you.

Amen

Upon my release from prison on March 15th, we rented a hotel in Kay Jacmel, where I met my kids, and later that night when the celebrations died down, I read each one of these prayers to them. Hours spent much with tears, smiles, and laughter with the help of Teresa and Ryan.

Reflections

2011-10-04T05:47:00.000-07:00

Most of you know Leann and I are traveling the US right now; we are actually in our final stretch. It has been an amazing trip, not because we have raised hundreds of thousands of dollars, because that is not the case. It has been a time of connecting, re-connecting with friends and supporters throughout the US. It has been a time for Leann and I to have amazing conversations as we still process the past year and years of trials and victories. It has brought great healing to me personally and to Leann as well for the hurts, disappointments that we have experienced, and has brought other issues to light that we now have an opportunity to dive into and discuss further.

It is a little surreal still looking back. We as Americans look back and reflect, we reflect on September 11^th.Remembering the 10 year anniversary where our country was severely attacked. We celebrate the capture of Osama Bin Laden.

For me I have spent time reflecting on my last year, and grieve the lost friendships and relationships we had with individuals and a church. Not a day goes by I wonder what I could have changed, what I could have done, or said differently for things not to go the way they did or end the way they did. I question motives and hearts, and I realize again, I need to lay it at the feet of my Lord. I honestly and oddly miss these lost relationships and still have a deep desire to call these men and women up and sit in the same room, face to face and have conversations in hopes of reconciliation and healing. But again I realize we have not gotten to that stage, and again I need to lay it at the feet of my Lord.

Forgiveness is a daily decision for me, and on most days I have made the right choice. But it doesn’t eliminate the hurt that still is there. It has been easier on some ends in the US, as the daily reminder is not there, seeing cars that used to belong to our family driven by random individuals, most of which I don’t even recognize anymore. But the wounds are still there as I share the stories of being called before the judges, as I tell the stories of the arrest, and the imprisonment, it brings the wounds to the surface.

God has been so graceful, the biggest compliment Leann and I have both received and continue to receive is the dignity of how we have shared our story refusing to react to the accusations. Answering the questions in truth, but more importantly with love and honor. Not so much to the individuals or the church, but for the sake of the Gospel, for our names as Christian men and women and for the reputation of Christianity and the Christian Church.

I remember starting this road trip, being so thankful for the generosity of the Chupp family for loaning us their LARGE and VERY EXPENISIVE new RV. But realizing because of the huge need of our financial situation, our focus had to be 100% on raising support. Even having some stress on how to fill all our weekends and pay the cost of this trip. Each day we needed to push forward with getting in front of as many churches and individuals as we possibly could to share the need and raise support, and as we reach the final stretch I realize we have been successful in just that. I remember being a bit bitter by this realization, feeling robbed once again. Realizing our first real vacation after the Earthquake was in last August, it was cut short getting e-mails by accident mapping out the plans to eliminate me from our own organization. The return to Haiti, the battle over the separation, then being called to court three times, with finally the third judge asking me to sign over all the assets, all the money. Which we have already publically committed to do, then demanding my arrest. My release March 15^th returning to the US March 17^th then Joseph being born March 20^th, my return to Haiti in April, and then our family returning to Haiti in May. Hosting teams for ten weeks. Then leaving again in August to raise support. Yes I was tired and a little bitter.

But then seeing how God had other plans for Leann and I. Literally from day we began the trip, going to Ichnetuccee with family camping for two days, and leisurely enjoying time floating down the natural springs and rivers. Then each step of the way we have connected with family, gone to water parks, zoos, seen amazing sites, stayed at amazing camp grounds, and had a ball. Our supporters have been more than generous feeding us incredibly well, and seeing to the fact that we would have fun each step of the way. I know Leann would agree 100%, that we have had an incredibly restful and enjoyable time on this trip. Yes, we have had weekends where I have preached 4 times in a 24 hour period, and times of repeating the same stories over and over, times of laughter and times of tears, but we enjoyed those times as well.

We have seen God provide financially. With the commitments between the churches we were speaking at Sunday mornings the cost of the trip was covered. We have collected over $15,000.00 in love offerings, and many signed up to continue to support us on an ongoing basis.

During this trip I have learned first-hand the deepest wounds are wounds from your closest friends, men and women you have trusted with your life, turning their backs on you and betraying you in ways I have never experienced, and never even heard of. I have learned that it takes time to heal those wounds. But more then that I have learned it is a decision. A decision to forgive. A decision to let go and let God. A decision. Sometimes in is a second by second decision, sometimes a minute by minute decision, sometimes an hour by hour decision, sometimes a daily decision, a weekly decision. But I decided. And I decide. I decide to forgive. I decide to let go and let God. I decide to love. I decide to live. This is not my decision alone but the grace of God living in and through me daily allows me to walk in this and make this decision.

(preaching moment) My encouragement to you all that have chosen to read this. We have all been wounded by someone, by a church, by an individual, by a family member. We all have baggage. Choose with me. Choose to forgive. Choose to turn the other cheek. Choose to love. Choose to live. Don’t let the hurt that you have been victimized define you in a negative way, let it shape you, and strengthen you to be a better person. A truer person. Choose to trust again. Choose to love again. Choose to let someone inside. Choose to be vulnerable and available no matter the cost.

Thanks for reading thanks for caring.

Danny Pye

Scriptures on My Heart

2011-10-04T05:36:00.000-07:00

These are the scriptures I have been primarily teaching about. Teaching about in the midst of adversity to stand firm. To choose not to be a victim, not to feel sorry for yourself. But to choose to make the best of the circumstances and situations you are in, specifically the ones you have no power to change.

Then I charge the congregation, to be about action. Prayer and giving is needed, but to be about a community that is known for doing, serving and being Christ like, instead of just talking, praying and giving. Hope you enjoy the scriptures and that they challenge you in the same way they have challenged me these last few months.

1 Corinthians 16:13-14
Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. Let all that you do be done with love.

Mark 13:13
And you will be hated by all for My name’s sake. But he who endures to the end shall be saved.

Matthew 5:14-16
You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

James 2:14-26
What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble! But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead? Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered Isaac his son on the altar? Do you see that faith was working together with his works, and by works faith was made perfect? And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.” And he was called the friend of God. You see then that a man is justified by works, and not by faith only.
Likewise, was not Rahab the harlot also justified by works when she received the messengers and sent them out another way?
For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.
Danny Pye

Hello

2011-10-04T05:32:00.000-07:00

Faithful readers:

I realize this is Leann’s blog, and most of you would rather just read her blogs, but every once in a while I hijack it and add a bunch of blogs myself. This is what I have done. Feel free to read, feel free not to read. Please DON’T comment anonymously, that is annoying. I will try to never secretly talk bad about someone, if I have something to say about someone that is negative know that I have already shared with them personally or tried to do so, and eliminate using gossip and naming individuals, organizations, or Church(es) specifically out of respect and honor more to Christ, but also to them. Also this is not a reflection of Kenbe Fem Ministry, Global Effect Ministry, or any other ministry I am representing at any given moment.

I have spoken to many churches over the past few weeks; Baptist, Christian Church, Methodist, Evangel-Free, Reformed, Catholic, to name a few. They have all been great experiences and different experiences; from 40 people in attendance to over 4,000 people in attendance. Where I have had to wear dress pants and a tie to wearing blue jeans and flip flops.

I feel similar emotion here as I do in Haiti in the way that I have been more blessed then a blessing I have been to other people. That doesn’t surprise some as I am obviously NOT a professional speaker, between talking too fast to the 'ummmms' and 'uhhhhhhs'. I sometime bore myself, and wish I could sleep through my speeches. :^)~ But my prayer each stop has remained the same. It is a simple prayer. "Father God, please meet our needs. Father God, please show up and use me, speak through me, let it by Your words and not my own. Father God, please change one individual by what I am sharing today, Amen." I know He has, He has changed me each time, and I know He is changing others.

If you have not heard me speak in person and you want too, I will include a few links below of when I have spoken in churches and they have recorded it as a podcast, so you can hear it. Thanks for reading, thanks for listening, thanks for caring.

Danny Pye

Conduit Church

Cherokee Church

Calvary Christian Church

September 15 Update

2011-09-17T18:01:00.000-07:00

Dear Family and Friends,

It again has been too long since you have heard an update from the Pye family. I am truly sorry for that. Things are going well. Despite the busyness of hosting teams, moving to the new house, and now traveling the US raising support, I am thankful to take a few minutes to update you ourfaithful friends and supporters of the happenings of the Pye family, Kenbe Fem Ministry, and the growing relationship with Global Effect.

I have been working hard getting our administrative issues in line from beginning the use of Quickbooks for all our expenditures and donations, working on the database for supporters, friends, and family, trying to include more of our donor base on these updates, so I am hoping that you have notice some good changes and will continue noticing some good changeswith what we are doing, and how we are doing it. I have many people to thank specifically Tim Heck and Larry Benz has been key in getting the website operational and user friendly, developing new marketing material for Kenbe Fem, and helping us have a good foundation for all the new beginnings we are undertaking.

Backing up let me update you all our past two months. Our summer has gone great. We have had some precious times as a family. We have been busier then we have ever been in hosting teams for 10 weeks straight with almost 200 people coming on teams. It has opened the door to do some amazing outreaches and ministries in both Jacmel and Grand Groave area. Our ministries varied between character developments in local public schools, soccer outreaches, VBS Bible camps, men’s conferences, marriage conferences, church conferences, youth rallies to just name a few. They have had great success. We have loved the teams we hosted, and many people were reached for Christ, many physical needs met, whether it was a hot meal, or distributing some donated goods.

I returned to the US with Riann the beginning of August, 10 days before Leann and Joseph arrived, to finish the coordination and preparation of our road trip. We began our road trip just days after Leann joined us in Florida. We are so thankful for Ed and Janice Chupp who generously loaned us their new 36’ motor home to travel the US in. We are about to reach our half way point in our trip. We have traveled and spoken in Florida, Alabama, Tennessee, Kentucky, Indiana, and Illinois. Our last half includes Minnesota, Missouri, Kansas, Texas, Louisiana, and finally Florida again.

Our whole trip will be about 7,000 miles. It has been amazing so far. Our days have been filled meeting new people, hanging out with old friends, speaking about our home and ministry, hanging out with each other, and seeing the country around us. It has been busy, but a different busy than when we are in Haiti. Leann’s Mom joined us in Kentucky and she will be with us until Texas. She has been enjoying the family time and traveling with us. God continues to touch people’s hearts and bless us. We are so grateful to the many wonderful host and hostess we have had so far. If you would like specifics on where and when we will be speaking in the future days, please visit our blog or e-mail me. Also please continue praying for our trip as we raise funds for our home and ministry. As you know things have been financially difficult for our home. We are aggressively trying to raise monthly support and child sponsorship support. Leann is planning on returning to Haiti with Riann and Joseph in October. I will be returning in November after speaking with several more churches in Florida.

While we have been gone, Anise and Frantzo have been holding the fort down. They are once again staying with our kids in Haiti. We talk to them several times a week and things are going well. We have learned that school has already been delayed due to the lack of a Haitian prime minister with the recent update being October now. Nevertheless, the kids are doing well. Many of them have e-mailed and we have daily contact with them. It’s amazing how Internet has changed ministry.

Before leaving Haiti we celebrated Tina’s birthday. She is growing quickly into a young woman. It was great fun singing, eating cake, and watching her open presents. It is hard to remember the scared little girl that came to us over 4 years ago.

I also want to mention this video that Omega and Jeanna made. It is a tour of our new home given by Omega. Every time I watch it, it makes me laugh. I love his heart.

Finally, I want to say thank you to the many friends and supporters that have faithfully continued supporting us in prayer and finances. We know that God is doing great things and He has and will continue to take care of us. If you get a chance, please come to one of the location where we are speaking. Thank you and God bless!

Church Sign in Rockford, Illinois

Speaking at a school in Indianapolis, IN

The babies of the house, Jovandy and Joseph

Being Interviewed in Kingsport, TN

Our home away from home

Tubing down Ichetuckee River in Florida

Kenbe Fem is a ministry of Global Effect.

To support Kenbe Fem, please send checks

or money orders to Global Effect ,

noting Kenbe Fem or the Pye family

on the memo line.

Thank you in advance for your generocity. _

_Our mailing address is:_

Global Effect

P.O. Box 611635

Rosemary Beach, FL. 32461

Latest Version of the RV Trip Schedule

2011-09-05T19:31:00.000-07:00

Thursday 8/18-Saturday 8/20 Ichetucknee Springs

Saturday 8/20-Sunday 8/21 Tallahassee, FL

Monday 8/22-Tuesday 8/23   Tuscaloosa, AL

Wednesday 8/24-Sat 8/27   Anniston, AL   Parker Memorial Baptist Church

Sunday 8/28-Wed 8/31       Birmingham, AL

Thursday 9/1-Sunday 9/4 Kingsport, TN Grace Church

Monday 9/5-Friday 9/9 Indianapolis, IN

Saturday 9/10-Sun 9/11 Rockford, IL Calvary Christian Church

Monday 9/12 New Hope, MN

Tuesday 9/13-Fri 9/14 Springfield, MO

Wednesday 9/14      Marshfield, MO

Sunday 9/18   Girard, KS       Girard Bible Church

Sunday 9/18    Parsons, KS      First Baptist Church of Cherokee

Monday 9/19 Argyle, TX

Tuesday 9/20 San Antonio, TX

Friday 9/23 Houston, TX

Saturday 9/24      Baton Rouge, LA
Tuesday 9/27-Wed 9/28   Rosemary Beach, FL

Saturday 11/1      Bradenton, FL

Sunday 11/2      Venice, FL

Sunday 11/9 A.M. Bradenton, FL Faith Bible Church

Sunday 11/16 A.M. Bradenton, FL Faith Christian Church

Sunday 11/16 P.M. Bradenton, FL Bradenton Christian Reformed Church

Sunday 11/30 A.M. Sarasota, FL Lakewood Christian Church

If you would like more information on times and places please e-mail Danny at dpye316@aol.com

So far the trip has been amazing and God is blessing us so much. God be the glory!

Beaver House

2011-09-05T07:37:00.000-07:00

We were at this AMAZING playground in TN that had a Narnia theme. Along the path were stations of 'The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe'. One of the stations was the beaver house.

Riann and I were walking to the swings when this little girl starts yelling and jumping up, very excited. And says, 'Grandma, grandma! Look it's the Beaver house. It's Justin Bieber's house! Come on, let's go!'

The next day I heard a Mom ask the Dad, 'Where's Noah?' 'At the dam house.'
I couldn't stop laughing because sure enough, the boy was at the beaver's house.

The Babies

2011-09-04T19:25:00.000-07:00

Here is the recent picture of Joseph and Jovandy. It's crazy looking at these. They are actually 2 months apart, with Joseph being older. Though you could never tell!

Though for the record, Joseph is about 3 inches taller! Takes after his Daddy!

Our home is doing well. We miss the kids so much! Can't wait to get back and see how much everyone has grown.

Our New House

2011-08-25T08:35:00.000-07:00

Top 10 Reasons we LOVE our new house:
10. Mdm Anite has her own place to sew and store material.
9. It is closer to church and the market place so we can walk there easily if we need to.
8. The kitchen for the orphanage is bigger and better laid out for easier storage and access for food.
7. We have an extra bedroom for family and guests to stay when they visit.
6. We love our neighbors. We have met many of them and constantly have friends over to play. We have a small tent camp next to us and hope to have some special ministry with them and especially the children there.
5. There is more living space for the children to study, play, and hang out. And we have another front porch on the second story which we love!
4. The driveway is great to skateboard, play soccer, and jump rope.
3. There are 2 huge soccer fields directly behind us so the boys can play and meet new friends.
2. Two words: Hot Water! It's the first time Danny and I have ever had a hot water heater while living in Haiti.
1. Home. Since moving in and 'feels' much more like a home. Friends of ours painted memory verses on some of the walls. Also there is this beautiful mural of our family at the beach in the children's dining room. There is artwork done by the children and me that are hung up on the walls.
0. The roof is AMAZING! We love to hang out there and watch people. It has a great breeze in the evening and you can see for miles. It is awesome watching the summer storms come in from the mountains with the lightning and rain. Just breathtaking!
Here is a tour given by Omega, one of our boys.

Thank you Jeanna and Omega for doing this video. I love and laugh at Omega's spiel. Hope you enjoy it too.

Singing Over Me

2011-08-12T05:47:00.000-07:00

The lord your God is with you; the mighty One will save you. He will rejoice over you. You will rest in his love; he will sing and be joyful about you.
Zeph 3:17

Note who is active and who is passive. Who is singing, and who is resting? Who is rejoicing over his loved one, and who is being rejoiced over?
We tend to think we are the singers and God is the 'sin gee.' Most certainly that is often the case. But apparently there are times when he wishes we would just be still and let him sing over us.
-Excerpt from Just Like Jesus by Max Lucado

This was my reading this morning. I read that verse over and over again imagining God singing and dancing around me.
As you can imagine with 22 kids, we have a lot of birthdays in the house. We try to make each one special. One of the things that I always do to each and every child on their birthday is sing to them. Whenever we pass I grab hold and give them a big bear hug while singing at the top of my lungs, voice cracking, glass breaking, ear screeching version of Happy Birthday. They always smile and laugh. If other kids are around they might sing with me. It's a tradition, a small one, but one they all look for when it's their day.
Reading this verse, that's what I imagine. God, with a big smile, holding me, loving me, singing loudly maybe with his voice cracking too over His child. And I'm just smiling and laughing the whole time with him too.

Dates of Schedule

2011-08-09T20:49:00.000-07:00

Here is a rough sketch of where and when we will be. If you would like us to speak at your church, Bible study, or have a get-to-together with friends and family please e-mail Danny at dpye316@aol.com

8/17 Ocala, FL
Atlanta, GA
Anniston, AL
8/23 Birmingham, AL
8/25 Tuscalusca, AL
Kingsport, TN
8/30 Louisville, KY
9/1 Cininatti, OH
9/4 Indianopolis, IN
9/10 Rockford, IL
9/13 Springfeild, MO
9/18 Frontenac, KS
Argyle, TX
9/20 San Antonio, TX
Houtin, TX
9/25 Baton Rouge, LA
Rosemary Beach, FL
9/29 Tallahasse, FL
10/2 Orlando, FL
Tampa FL
Bradenton, FL

Thank you to all those that are interested in our ministry and how God is working thru us. God bless!

Speaking Schedule

2011-08-09T02:30:00.000-07:00

Still making last minute changes to the speaking schedule for those that are interested. Really excited! Just some places include Alabama, Indiana, Missouri, Texas, Kansas, Kentucky, and more. If you would like more info about Danny and I coming to your church please e-mail me or write a comment with your contact information.
One of these days I'll write some stuff out.

Twilight Zone

2011-08-02T17:08:00.000-07:00

Our kids LOVE to watch movies. They especially love to buy the movies off the street that sell for a couple of dollars. I call them 'Haitian Soap Opras'. I don't understand all the words, but usually get the jest of whats happening. It's an eye opener culturally for me. To see what Haitians view as entertainment, humor, and drama. Our kids laugh at things that would normally make me cry. Someone gets hit by a car, someone has a miscarriage, etc. It's interesting and has opened many doors to talk with them.
Last week was one of those times. They borrowed a movie that reminded me of Cinderella-Haiti style. It was about a family that had a restavek (slave) girl. She was physically beaten, humilated, and mocked in the movie. A boy fell in love with her but she was sent away. The boy tried to save her, but because of miscommunication they never saw each other again.
It's confusing, as most Haitian movies are. But I found it so interesting because it talked about restaveks, abuse, and the conintual problems of child slavery in Haiti. It opened a great opportunity for me, as a parent, to talk to the children about this saddistic tradition in Haiti. I talked to them about their lives before the orphanage, as many of them were in the same place as this young woman. Many of our children were slave children to family or neighbors and for different reasons they were abanonded at our 'gate'.
They had lots of questions. And I pray that God used me to open their eyes and to help me break this one tradition in Haiti. That they, our children, will open their doors to others' children but treat them with love, respect, and diginity. That is one huge desire for our children. That they do like they were brought up. Maybe not with 22 children like Danny and I have, but to a few. That they will love them, send them to school, teach them about God, serve in their community, and so much more.
They will learn that 'blood is not thicker than water'. They will learn that God sents us children in many ways. All deserve love. All deserve respect. All deserve dignity.

Titi Pi Bon (Breast is Best)

2011-07-29T07:26:00.000-07:00

Knowing that we were moving back to Haiti after having Joseph it was very important to me that he was breastfed. Breastmilk is so extremely healthy for the baby it is full of vitamins, antibodies, calories, and other good stuff. Living in a culture that was 'dirty' I wanted to give our baby a head start and do everything I could to give him a healthy and clean way to eat. It would also give me personal bonding times with him several times a day. And it's free, need I say more? Sounds great, huh?

What I didn't realize was the difficulty this would bring in my life. The first couple days he was born, he ate great. No problems. Then he stopped. It was a constant battle of feeding him. Every. Single. Time. He wouldn't latch. He would scream every time I held him. Unless you have personally experienced this, you cannot understand the personal discouragement as a person, disappointment as a mother, nor the guilt that it is something you are doing wrong. I mean breastfeeding is natual, God designed way to feed your baby. It should be easy. There were so many times I wept in emotional pain. I felt that if I couldn't do this, I was a failure as a mom and that bringing my son back to Haiti, I was sentencing him to sickness and possibly death. Crazy, huh? Instead of enjoying my son he became reminder that I was a failure.

His first doctors appt I was reprimanded because he had lost a few onces and was still jaundice. He wasn't eating enough. I was told to start giving him formula. Even after explaining our situation with living in Haiti. They told me to go to a lactation consultant, but Joseph needed to eat.

So I went to a lactation consultant, a few in fact. I learned that my technique was fine. I was doing everything right. For some unknown reason Joseph wasn't latching. They gave me a pump. Every 2-3 hours I would try to feed him, but he rarely latched. He would cry and scream from frustration and hunger. I would cry from the emotional and physical pain from pumping. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. But, he was eating. He was breastfeeding, even if it was from a bottle. He was gaining weight. I remember the consultant telling me that he latch eventually if I kept trying. I told her that if she told me that he would latch eventually, I would keep trying. She said she knew of some babies that it took up to 8-9 weeks.

So I didn't give up. For over 12 weeks, for every single feeding I tried to feed him. I noticed over time he started to latch more often. I kept trying, pushing thru my guilt, fear, frustration, pain, and holding on to the hope that it would happen.

Joseph is now over 4 months old. He has had 1 bottle in the past month and that is because Danny and I went out for a long date night. I always had the stand that all babies can be breastfed. That has changed for me. I believe that sometimes, it just doesn't happen. For unknown reasons. Yes, Joseph and I were able to push thru our struggles. But, some babies are not able to get beyond that unknown factor.

I also know something else. Breastfeeding is personal. What I mean by this is when you are talking with someone that is struggling/struggled it is very close to the heart. As a Mom who struggled I know and understand the overwhelmingness of failure one can feel. How quickly the heart can be bruised from a careless word. How quickly people are to judge without understand or hearing all the facts. For those that are able to breastfeed like me, that's great. For those that weren't able. To those that tried. You did not fail. You realized that yes breast milk is best, but feeding is better than fighting with your baby. Your baby needs to eat and if that's not happening by breastfeeding, it's OK. And you realized that you needed to enjoy this time with your baby, not add to frustrations or see your baby as a reminder that you are a failure. You are a great Mom. I am a great Mom.

Touching

2011-07-14T09:44:00.000-07:00

I am not a touchy person. Infact out of the 5 love languages, touch is probably #6 on my scale. However, as a wife and parent I am constantly being stretched in this area. Or at least I'm pretty sure that God is trying to teach me that touch is an important way to show love.
I remember the Bible story of Jesus in Matthew 8:1-4, when he healed the man with leprosy. He touched him. Sometimes when Jesus did miracles, he also touched the person. He didn't have to. He is God. He could speak and it would happen. I mean He spoke the world into existence, he could have easily said 'You are healed.' But with this man, he touched him. I believe by doing this Jesus not only healed the man physically, but started the emotionally healing too. People with leprosy were outcast. They literally had to wear bells around their necks and yell out their disease when passing by people or walking on roads. No one had probably touched him for years. But Jesus did to heal him.
Touch is such an simple way to show your love and it is not bound by language. Holding hands, rubbing shoulders, dancing, scratching heads. Non verbal, simple ways to communicate love, acceptance, pride. It something that God is continually teaching me every day.
Touch is not easy for me, it's not something I do without thought. But I am surrounded by family whose touch is their first love language. I live in a culture that doesn't understand person space. My daughter, Riann, loves to touch me when she sits next to me. She is a cuddler by nature. She will literally sit on my head to get as close a possible to me when I'm laying down. Dave loves to be held. Every time he passes by me he gets this HUGE smile on his face and raises his hands to me. He doesn't do this to everyone. He loves his Nana (that's me). Diane loves to have lay her feet over me when we are watching a movie. Elinda loves to poke me with her finger when we pass each other. Danny needs those non sexual touches as a husband; the hand on the shoulder, the touch on the cheek, etc. And on top of it all, I am only breastfeeding Joseph. So you can imagine my constant dilemma. As a wife and parent, I have to constantly put their needs of feeling loved above my wants of not being touched. It's a daily battle. However, I have noticed that those days when I love on my kids more and put my arm around their shoulders, or put Riann on my lap when I read her a book, or dance with one of my boys down the hall there is a distinct difference in their obedience, listening abilities, and overall moods. Things in the house run more smoothly, faces have more smiles, children hide less for chore time.
You'd think I remember this all the time, but I don't. I still struggle daily with personal space. It's who I am, but prayerfully it's not who I will always be. I am constantly changing and if I choose wisely, someday I won't even think about it. It won't be a conscience decision to touch.

When Will it get Better?

2011-07-06T20:52:00.000-07:00

This is the first month in over seven years of ministry we have not been able to purchase the needed food for the month or pay the salaries. We had to tell Berline and Mackendy, despite the Haitian tradition of having new clothes each day for their exams, we could only afford to buy them one new outfit. I cried this week reading a text message Berline wrote to Frantzo about her need of a scientific calculator. She was too afraid to ask me for money to buy a calculator knowing how tight money is, yet afraid to fail her government exams if she didn’t buy one.
I got into a yelling match with our old land lord over the condition of our old house. Listing the things he wants us to fix this week, including broken windows that neighborhood kids had thrown rocks thru after we moved out. Door knobs that were looted and painting over our sign on the gate. The heated conversation escalated to the vain threat that if I didn’t buy him new door knobs, he would do the same thing those “whites” did to me, and summon me before the judge. I invited him to do so. That comment in itself is extremely frustrating as it has now been the third time that threat has been made since my release. First of all, people think that it is an ok thing to do, if you don’t get your own way, or to take advantage of you and steal all your family’s assets, as they have seen that happen first hand. Second, people think I am afraid and will just cave and pay off any random request because I am afraid of the judicial system. Again sad, but not true. My prior land lord didn’t bother to take in account the literal thousands of dollars we have invested in that house over the years by adding doors, repainting, building a generator depot, stairs to the roof, etc. He didn’t take it into account the thousands of dollars I forwarded to him early for the lease of the house when he was in bad need of finances. He didn’t take in account the job I gave him in constructing the first Global Urban house. He didn’t believe me when I tried to explain that we didn’t have the means to purchase the locks. He just wanted it done, no matter the cost.

I have been on the edge this week debating on returning to the US in efforts to raise additional funds. And honestly already called American Airlines to find the price of changing my ticket, but have been talked down several times from my wife, my boss, and friends. I want so much to believe that God is going to provide all our needs, but then what if He doesn’t? I know He will. But I am scared He won’t.

Lord I believe in You, help me in my unbelief…

Lord, provide all our needs according to Your riches and glory…

At the same time I find myself SO thankful. A few of my close friends and supporters have really come through with some additional, sacrificial donations this month, just to help us get through. Another missionary family, Cody and Maria, after reading a previous blog and praying for us, felt God calling them to act. They immediately called me (11PM at night) and volunteered to help the young girl with her exams fee and pay the remaining debt of Sonet. Literally the next day Sonet was free! He is with his family in Seguin. I am so excited that he is free and able to be with his family. I understand the pain and heartache and praise God that he is free. And this week, Liderna has been attending her exams!! Praise God.

Father God, I thank you for your provision, and I cry out to You to continue to provide for us, for our family. Amen.
-DP

June 30th Update

2011-07-01T11:25:00.000-07:00

June 30, 2011

Dear Family and Friends,

It is hard to believe another month has passed us by. A lot has happened over this last month. I spent some time getting back into writing updates on face book, and writing blogs, so feel free to follow us on a more frequent basis by following us on those places.

We have successfully moved into the new home. We LOVE it!! We miss our old neighbors, but besides that, the new home is perfect for us. The bedrooms are a little smaller, but the living space is bigger. Moving helps you choose what is important, which is nice to those of us not liking all the clutter. A few missionary friends came over and loaned us their arms, backs, and vehicles, a team came over from Grand Groave for the day, and our kids were off of school. It was a long day, but the move happened in pretty much one day. We are settled, I LOVE having hot water and screens on all the windows!! A few of life’s little pleasures. We still need to buy a few things, mattresses for the kids for the new beds that were built a few weeks ago, refrigerator/freezer for the children’s home, furnishings for the kids’ new living room, another tank to hold more water on the roof, and funds to finish building a small depot to give us more storage for our home and ministry. But all in all we are so thankful for God providing the funds to rent the home for a year, and to be in it and settled in.

Again we are so thankful for God providing the funds to purchase the Toyota 4 Runner; it has been a big blessing having a car of our own again. We are also SO thankful for the loaner cars we have had access to from Ryan and Teresa, and Dr. Jim and Sandy.

Another school year comes to completion. I am so proud of my kids and the great improvements I have seen this last quarter. It speaks volumes to remove some of the stress and hurt on the kids with my release, and the kids refocusing and pushing through. Several of my kids ranked highest in their class this last quarter. Magdaline took her government exams last week. The grade she is in is very difficult to pass. Mackendy and Berline are the only ones left, they will be taking their government exams on July 4^th.

I still have been spending some time traveling back and forth to Grand Groave helping host teams for the Global Effect’s Community Transformation project. It has been a true joy. Leann, Riann, and Joseph joined me for a few days two weeks ago, and had a great time serving. Evens and Omega went with me this week. For the most part I am just going down for the day to help kick off the team and return. Scott is there leading the team, but two weeks ago I led a team of 8 from a church in northern Texas. We did a VBS, character training in the schools, a men’s conference with a group of young adults. It was a lot of fun and a successful week. We ended the week visiting Jacmel, and hanging with our kids at the beach for a day. All in all it was a great success. I am amazed the favor God has given us to come and go in public, government schools, teaching Christian principles in character development, the doors have been opened wide for it.

This past week we have hosted another team from the Alabama area. A youth group of 20 in all. It was a great team. We hosted a VBS in Chabin, Breman, Cyvaderia, and Raymond. Over the weekend we had a youth rally at our church in Jacmel for three nights. Then ended their ten day trip installing rain catcher systems on five homes, and helping us finish emptying out the old house and cleaning it up. All in all it was a successful week. Averaging 200 kids at the VBS each day, feeding them, and sharing the gospel each day. Over 100 youth at the youth rally each night, and as they installed rain catchers the team again led skits and shared their testimony. They had the privilege of praying with several to receive Christ!! Then this week, I am back in Grand Groave, hosting a three-day youth conference, then a city-wide clean up.

One of the biggest struggles for me on most days is seeing great needs and not being able to meet them. Our ministry has always been so much more than our children’s home. We have always been about meeting the needs of the community, whether in education with our scholarship programs, meeting medical needs by hosting medical clinics or having funds to help those in dire need, helping personally families in the church with paying for funerals or weddings, repairing and rebuilding homes that were damaged by the earthquake or hurricanes, and the list goes on. God gave me a vision on how we can continue doing these ministries as the ministry we once founded has discarded this vision, but we want to do it with Haitian leaders, Haitian pastors, teachers, nurses, and builders, instead of American missionaries. So in May I met with a group of men, local leaders and established “Foundation Kenbe Fem”. It is now grown to a committee of eleven Christian men and women, all Haitian. We meet every week together praying and planning for how we can meet the needs of a community together. We have plans to begin this ministry actually meet weekly to worship and grow together, as well an elaborate plan to be a ministry of action. Our moto is “kwe pa sou fi, fok ou fe” – “believing is not enough, you must do”. To read more information about this foundation and our plans to fund this ministry and implement the vision that we have, feel free to click here.

A new personal ministry, after spending my extended time in prison, is a prison ministry. I visit the prison praying with, disciplining, encouraging those men in the cells that I lived with and the police officers that work at the prison. God has granted me much favor with being able to stop by several times a week at random times. I hope to expand this ministry thru ‘Foundation Kenbe Fem’ and teams by having feeding the whole prison, church services, handing out needed supplies and Bibles and helping their paperwork move thru the legal system in Jacmel. I have learned that if no one, as in family or friends, are bringing your case up you can be in there for years without ever seeing a judge. Innocent or not.

We are excited to share, and are so thankful to have a great support structure helping us develop marketing material for our new ministry website. You can follow us and our ministry, link to our blogs, hear pod cast of live interviews, see pictures, read updates, and support us easily online now. Just visit www.kenbefem.org

We had a lot of celebration the past few weeks. Berline turned 21, Ticarlis turned 14, and our Elinda turned 14 years old. Leann’s birthday was this week, the big 28 years old!! We also celebrated Haitian Father’s Day. I was so overwhelmed by my kids’ cards, going to the photo studio getting all dressed up and posing for new pictures for my desk. The gifts were great as well. I am a blessed father.

This has been a rough few weeks of saying no. You can read more by visiting our blogs, but the requests of placing children in our home, feel endless and hopeless. We feel helpless saying no, but trusting in God that He is faithful to meet our needs as well as the needs of these children. This coupled with the frequent prison visits doing what we can to help in the release of Michelet, Nelson, and Sonet. The continued requests for jobs, school testing fees, doctor visits and medication continue to come. We help those we can, but there is also a lot of heartache of saying no.

The biggest struggle currently is finances. The move was costly. Setting up power, setting up the stove and propane, building new beds for all the kids, setting up satellite internet, and the list goes on. For the first time ever in our ministry we have gone into the hole, we are spending more then what is coming in. This compiled with the existing debt we still hold from our credit card and legal fees, to name a few. We are aggressively working on correcting that, cutting back staff again, and doing all we can to cut back our spending in every way we can. At the same time we are being proactive in trying to raise support and awareness for our family and ministries and the current, short term, and long term needs for our ministry.

Thank you for your prayers for our family and for our ministry. We thank you so much for your continued support and ask, and plead for you to continue.

Pye family in front of our new house:

Loading the car up with raincatcher supplies:

Playing with the kids:

VBS in Chabin:

-DP

Struggle and Heartbreak

2011-06-29T13:00:00.000-07:00

To say these last few weeks have been a struggle would be the understatement of a lifetime. I struggle daily with hurt and loss. I have no doubt that I have forgiven or am daily forgiving those that have hurt and wounded my family and me so much. But it is still a struggle. A friend described the stage where I am now in as building a foundation. I struggle with this (I really shouldn’t) but in over seven years I built a foundation. I invested my own funds, my own sweat, tears, and energy into our ministry and in a moments time it was taken from us. Much like the earthquake took so many lives and so many homes, all around us people are slowly restarting their lives and rebuilding their homes. We find ourselves in the same place. We are restarting. Restarting our ministry, our home, and our finances. I wish I was more grateful for all of the blessings we have. I still have all my kids, they have been a true encouragement and support when I needed them the most. The ministries we have overseen for years were not taken away, and our Haitian community couldn’t be any more supporting or loving. Our Haitian church has been so loving, encouraging, and supportive. They have been caring for us, with lending their personal vehicles to us, giving us funds, volunteering their time and resources. You know who your true friends are in moments like this, verses those following you when there is money, success, and for personal, selfish gain.

I realize it is moments like these, what makes a person. So I pray that I am being “made” and made more into the image of God. I pray that this hardship continues to make me into a better father, a better son, a better husband, a better friend, a better leader, and a better follower. I pray that these moments teach me to submit quicker, be truer, discern better, and follow what God has for me and my family in this moment, today, tomorrow, weeks, and years to come.

Moments like this can also break you. Some are even rooting for that, hoping for that, and are already communicating that as a reality. I am bent but not broken. I am cut down but not destroyed. I have been close some times, but each time God has provided the right brother to come beside me and gently give me a loving hand. I pray that those moments are less, and that God continues to provide those brothers.

The biggest struggle currently is finances. The move is finished, and we are settling into our new home. We love it. But the move was costly. Setting up power, setting up the stove and propane, building new beds for all the kids, setting up satellite internet, and the list goes on. We purchased a used Toyota 4-runner and so thankful for God’s provision for our own vehicle once again. For the first time ever in our ministry we have gone into the hole, we are spending more then what is coming in. This compiled with the existing debt we still hold from our credit card and legal fees, to name a few. We are aggressively working on correcting that, cutting back staff again, and doing all we can to cut back our spending in every way we can. At the same time we are being proactive in trying to raise support and awareness for our family and ministries and the current, short term, and long term needs for our ministry. We are working hard to develop and implement a big push for child sponsorship. Creating a new website and marketing material to distribute. We are working on a schedule and contacting new potential churches to speak at in the fall.

But most days I find myself literally scared that we aren’t going to make it. Wondering if we can hold off until funds are raised? Wondering if we will be successful in our fund raising efforts? These questions and concerns are overwhelming. Our financial needs are overwhelming. Yet at the same time, over seven years of serving in Haiti, we have never lacked for anything. God has been faithful to meet ALL of our needs, without exception, ALL of our needs. Why has my faith weakened? I know that in my head and even in my heart, but I still find myself fearful, overwhelmed, and even sometimes hopeless.

Please pray for the strength and courage for this moment. Please pray for the perseverance for today. Please pray for the grace when I doubt, and forgiveness when I am afraid.

The daily needs are still endless. Pray for discernment in where and when to say yes, as I find myself saying no to everything. Which those that know me well, know that is hard and discouraging.

Mdme Isabel's 9 year old son is covered in a head fungus, now his head is swollen and infected. I gave her $7.00 to see a doctor last week. Nevertheless she came back with scripts for $70.00 worth of needed medications. A single mom who had to tell her daughter that was in our scholarship program a year ago, that she couldn’t attend her high school government exams because she doesn’t have the money to pay for it. She has scrapped through all year long to pay for tuition for the entire school year, and made it to the end. But now has no money to pay for the government exams. Her daughter will lose the year of school now, because she can’t take the test. But her mom realized that her son’s health is a bigger need. Her daughter gracefully accepted the loss in a year, a sacrifice that is needed for the greater good. But it breaks my heart.

Sonet’s family came to me last week. Sonet was one of my cell mates for my five months and two days in prison, and became one of my many friends. Sonet, a simple man from Seguin, who knew me well, was one of the men who stood beside me the day I entered the prison to protect me from the inevitable searching and beating from other inmates, a tradition for day one in prison. Sonet is one of the men that was beaten on Christmas Eve, because he stayed in the room too long to say good bye to me in tears when I was released, just to be rearrested again in the next moment by the same judge. Sonet has been serving 15 months in prison. He was arrested for beating off someone that broke into his house late at night. He was accused of threatening to kill the robber that broke in. Never tried or convicted of any crime 15 months later he was heard by a judge for the first time. The judge decided to release him with no charges, but his family and friends have incurred $1,250.00 USD worth of attorney fees. The poor family and friends have put all their land, cows, and any other assets together to get whatever funds they could and have successfully raised $625.00 USD, but have no way of getting the rest. They continue to try to find any way they can to pay this off, and come to me as Sonet’s friend and plead for help to pay this fee. The attorney is now holding Sonet in jail until this debt is paid. He can only hold him for up to an additional year, but intends to do so. Sonet has suffered so much. He was sick with TB and almost died in our cell while I was in prison. He has three young kids, two biological children and one he adopted when his sister passed away 6 years ago. He has a wife and extended family waiting for him in Seguin. He rarely hears from his family, being so far away and disconnected, and has not seen his kids since his arrest 15 months ago. I know the suffering Sonet is enduring well, and everything inside wants to help, but I can’t. It breaks my heart.

This month we have had 3 young boys dropped off. Their stories are heart wrenching, each time we have had to say no, we can’t. No mattresses, no funds for food, school, or to care for them.

Men and women call me, stopping by daily asking for jobs is heart breaking. They want nothing more but to provide a living for themselves and their family. Nevertheless this month another three long time employees will be laid off because we just don’t have the support to continue to pay them.

Then there is Michelet and Nelson, I successfully raised $300.00 USD to get these two young men released with another young boy. The 14 year old boy who stole a goat in December has been successfully released and reunited with his family. These two young men remain. Nelson was arrested 13 months ago for “stealing a cell phone”. After explaining that he bought the cell phone, he was assured he would be released when they arrested the man Jean Edridge, who he bought the cell phone from, three days later they arrested him. Yet Nelson was never released. Sadly Michelet was just arrested because he was with Nelson driving him to meet up with the woman whose phone was stolen, having nothing to do with any of it. They have been called to court Monday and promised to be released. But the attorney is asking for an additional $3,000.00 USD to finish the process. We negotiated down to $1,500.00 USD but that is still much more then I have access to at this time. Making the decision to keep two of my closest friends in prison for $1,500.00 is pressing on me every minute of every day. Like me completely innocent. Like me ordered to do something, complied, but still kept in prison for no apparent reason. They suffer so much. Michelet, a 22 year old man, is an auto mechanic. His girlfriend miscarried their child while he was in jail. Nelson, an orphan 19 year old boy lives with his cousin. He is struggling to put himself through school and helping Michelet in auto mechanics just to make ends meet. I know personally how much they are suffering. Both young men accepted Christ with me in prison and became some of my closest friends, my encouragers. Honestly, can say I would have never survived my prison experience without them. They had my back each day, and loved me no matter what mood I was in. The hours we played dominos together and cards together were endless, and honestly I miss the fellowship we had. I miss mentoring them, telling them more about what it means to be a Christ follower, worshipping together during devotions.

Please pray for us, Leann and I. Pray for grace and strength. Pray for patience, as we wait on God. Pray from wisdom and discernment to know how to lead. Pray that I can love my kids well. Pray that I will love Leann well (or maybe just better than I am). Pray for understanding from our kids when we say no, for our neighbors when we say no. Pray that we won’t have to say no forever. My heart wants; my heart needs to say yes.

Thank you for your prayers and support. God is good.

-DP

COMING SOON!! www.kenbefem.org Our ministry site, where you will be able to keep current on all our needs, our stories, info on all our kids and ministries. You will be able to give online, schedule your monthly sponsorship or donations. See current pictures, videos; hear interactive pod casts of who we are and what we are doing. We have a great team working around the clock right now to make this site a huge resource for us and for you, our friends and supporters. Please visit it regularly as we will keep adding stuff to it in the next several weeks.

Interesting Redemption

2011-06-27T04:32:00.000-07:00

Many of you that have been following us realize we have returned to begin hosting teams again. With the move into the new house, we decided to place our teams at Ozana Hotel. We knew while I was in prison the judge who put me in jail lived there. Nevertheless during my imprisonment he came into some serious money and purchased ocean front land, a vehicle, and built a small home on his land. He moved out of the hotel, before he lost his standing as a judge and position in Jacmel. Well, a few days before this last team came in; I received a text from Frantzo, my assistant director, saying that the judge was moving back into the hotel for a month. He has more work to do on his house.

Many who have followed us, heard me say that I don’t blame the judge, and don’t hold really anything against him. I don’t like how he treated my wife while I was in prison or my kids, but besides that I don’t hold him personally responsible for my imprisonment. Yes, it is true that, I was in charge of an organization that partnered with another organization who rented a hotel to host their medical teams. It is correct that one of the conditions of the lease was to vacate the hotel of occupants, and one of the occupants of the hotel was this judge. However it was the owner of the hotel that had to vacate the tenants before the organization would lease it. I don’t believe there was any form of grudge about that transaction, certainly not enough that he would be willing to lose his ability to remain a judge and his position in Jacmel. As time has passed we have had people come to us, seen evidence, and the fruit of what really went on in regards to my imprisonment. The simple reality is that the judge did not call me to the courthouse on his own. He was hired to call me to court (I was sued), was told a lot of lies about our desire to take all the assets and sell them for personal gain, and of course there is more, but enough said. Anyway, I don’t hold him accountable for his actions. Therefore I don’t find myself angry with him. And honestly I want to see him, I want to tell him I forgive him. I want to tell him what Christ is doing in and through me. I want him to find Christ, as while I was in prison he was attacked by a 'voodoo power', which still can’t be explained.

So I have seen him only once at the hotel. Nevertheless when he saw me he turned around, went around the hotel to enter from the rear, hiding his face in his hand as he entered. His wife/girlfriend on the other hand has been out every day. And oddly, but incredibly cool, Riann has become best friends with his three year old daughter. They walk hand in hand all over the hotel when we are there hosting teams.

One day last week, the judge's wife was talking bad about me, telling all she heard. How I am broke since I lost the opportunity to be part of another $30,000.00 contract the organization did with the hotel again, (obviously they don’t know that we were just helping that organization and I never had any profit in any of those transactions). That I had no money to purchase any vehicles, to rent any house, or to care for my kids. She ranted in front of many of my children, not knowing who they were. The hotel manager was within listening range then steps in, and said, "Do you know that the large house next to the hotel was just rented by him, that new bus out front is his, all these kids are his, as well as the 20 'white people' in this hotel are his group." To make things more priceless at that moment I walked in, and greeted her kindly to gather up the group and my kids to head off. The kids later explained the entire conversation, as well as her embarrassment, as they laughed hysterically.

Just so you know that the “new bus” is a rented bus for the team, not our bus. And you can easily misunderstand the kindness of our friends Ryan, Teresa, Jim and Sandy with loaning their cars to us. Giving the appearance that we have nice vehicles. But it is really powerful at the same time to see how God is providing for us. Not the way I want some times, but He really is providing for us.

Some were hoping that this experience would break me, would cause me to leave Haiti without a fight. Some communicated to supporting churches and supporters these lies, trying to discredit me. Hoping that the support for the ministry would terminate and they would gain it. And honestly we lost support. Some even offered to take our kids, which we graciously declined. However the sad part was that the intensions and desires was to hurt me personally, but really the only people that truly got hurt was the Haitian community and the testimony of “Christian missionaries”. Nevertheless what if this experience only made me stronger? What if this experience made me have an even a better understanding for the hardships Haitians endure? What if this experience made my love for the Haitian community even deeper? What if my commitment to my family and to my ministry is even stronger now?

I don’t want revenge, I want to live well. I know that God will deal with the injustices, lies, bribes, and the attacks in His time, in His own way. In the same way I too will be accountable for my sins and my mistakes. I honestly wish those that were once my friends, who have wounded me and my family in this way, would realize I don’t want their organization to fail. I truly want what is best for the Haitian community, and that would not be in their best interests. I don’t want revenge on the judge, any of the police guards and inmates that treated me harshly, I want them to know that I forgive them. I desire them to find the same freedom in Christ that I have found.

I have seen so many instances in redemption; I just have been slow on beginning to share it publicly. But over time, as the healing process continues, I hope to continue with these posts, as I believe even though it was not God’s intention for me to be in prisoned for the 5 months and 2 days, “…what man intended for harm, God intended for the good…” (Genesis 50:20) “…all things God works for the good of those that love Him,…” (Romans 8:28)

To say I walked out of prison a new man, would be a true statement, but am learning each day that it will take time. Healing, recovering, and ultimate forgiveness and redemption takes time.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for caring. Thanks for supporting. Thanks for praying.

-DP

Pye's In Haiti

Heart Hurts

Treadmill

Betrayal

Michelet's Story

Sad Day

Thru the Pain

365 Project - Jan 21

365 Project - Jan 20

Going to the Doctor

365 Project - Jan 19

365 Project - Jan 18

365 Project - Jan 17

365 Project - Jan 16

365 Project - Jan 15

365 Project - Jan 14

365 Project - Jan 13

365 Project - Jan 12

365 Project - Jan 11

2nd Year Anniversary

365 Project - Jan 10

Riann and Teresa

Please Pray

The Many Faces of Joseph

365 Project - Jan 9

365 Project - Jan 8

365 Project - Jan 7

Peyi Di (Hard Country)

365 Project - Jan 6

365 Project - Jan 5

Cutting Onions

365 Project-Jan 4

365 Project-Jan 3

Yeah, She's Haitian...

365 Project-Jan 2

365 Project-Jan 1

Happy New Year

Haitian Church Pt 2

Very Merry Christmas

Feeding

Collatoral Damage

Joseph Daniel

Huh?

Bibles for Prison

Conflict

Think about that…In addition, I am writing a blog on ‘collateral damage’ because in ‘hammering through the wall with a sledge’ you are much more apt to get hurt and hurt other people, maybe even unintentially hurt others in the meantime.

-DP

Happy Thanksgiving-2011

Helping Sandi-The End

Blessings

-DP

Choosing Between a Rock and Hard Place

In Haiti one of the most difficult things, for me at least, is each day you make choices, choices to help, choices not to help, yes or no. These questions often affect the future of an individual. Sometimes even life or death. You have to find a balance.

-DP

Helping Sandi

The Battle

Videos from the House

Haitian Church Pt 1

Baby Dave

Convicting Video

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.Ephesians 4:31-3

I mean, there is no if, ands, and buts with that verse!

Just Like Jesus

Church on October 30

Tough Cookies

Forgiveness

Prayers from Prison

Reflections

Scriptures on My Heart

Hello

September 15 Update

Latest Version of the RV Trip Schedule

Beaver House

The Babies

Our New House

Singing Over Me

Dates of Schedule

Speaking Schedule

Twilight Zone

Titi Pi Bon (Breast is Best)

Think about that…

In addition, I am writing a blog on ‘collateral damage’ because in ‘hammering through the wall with a sledge’ you are much more apt to get hurt and hurt other people, maybe even unintentially hurt others in the meantime.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:31-3